#authenticity

The Truth About Rejection, And How To Finally Stop Taking It Personally 

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Lily Cummings Photography

My life has been about striving for perfection while constantly questioning, “Am I good enough?”

Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Thin, toned and strong enough? Am I lovable? Have I accomplished enough?

It’s no coincidence then that I would choose a career in modeling and working as a TV personality where rejection is as much a part of the job as the craft itself.

In other words, I hear the word, “No,” a lot. It used to really bother me. I internalized rejection, thinking it had something to do with my worth as a person. If I just do this, be that, and change myself, I will be good enough, accepted, validated, get the job, get the man, get the life of my dreams!

The message I replayed over and over again to myself was: I am not enough as I am.

Ouch!

I now see how rejection triggering my feelings of not being good enough is the perfect opportunity to heal my self-limiting beliefs, and create a new story: I am worthy. I am valuable. I am loved.

I’m smart enough to know now that rejection has nothing to do with my value as a person. That wisdom and understanding gives me so much freedom and such a sense of relief.

What’s actually being triggered is my ego because I am taking things personally, but rejection isn’t all about me.

I’ll give you an example: I was being considered as a model for a national commercial. The casting director told me I was exactly what they were looking for. I really wanted this job.

I didn’t get it.

I didn’t lose the job to another fair-skinned, tall, curvy blonde though. They hired a thin, much shorter African American woman. I couldn’t even be upset. The client literally hired my exact opposite.

The casting director ended up reaching out to me (which hardly ever happens), telling me everyone loved me, but they decided they’ve been hiring too many blondes lately for their campaigns and needed to switch things up.

I completely understood, and didn’t take their decision personally. I’ve since lost jobs to women who look very similar to me, and I don’t take that personally either, because I end up booking something better, or I am given time off to rest and take care of myself.

When I am rejected by something outside of myself, I take the time to examine the ways in which I reject (or say ‘No’ to) myself. (Eating poorly, skipping the gym, negative self-talk, lack of sleep and rest). When I am rejecting a part of myself, it will be mirrored back to me. It is a beautiful exercise in self love and acceptance.

Besides just being a part of life, I’ve learned rejection is actually protecting me from something that is not for my greatest good and the good of others.

When the guy I really, really like and have great chemistry with, who tells me I’m the most incredible woman he’s ever met, suddenly stops calling me, rather than going into a downward spiral of, “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me?”

I instead step back and say, Thank you, God/Universe/Spirit, for looking out for me and my highest good.

I’m not saying this is easy. It is definitely a perspective shift I have worked hard to create for myself. But the key to dealing with rejection, for me, is being able to look at the big picture, detach from the outcome, release expectations and know that everything is always happening for me and working out for the highest good for all involved.

It isn’t the pain of not getting the guy I thought I wanted to be in a relationship with, after all, I was perfectly happy before he came into my life.

It’s the expectations I had about how he should behave and how our relationship should go that really caused me the heartache. If I had been detached from the outcome of our relationship, his radio silence would have immediately been seen as a blessing rather than a statement about me and my value as a woman.

I recently had a meaningful conversation with an ex-boyfriend who I felt blew me off. We would get really close, and then he would push me away. I always thought his rejection meant I wasn’t good enough for him, but he communicated to me that he didn’t feel worthy of my love and always feared I would leave him, so he “rejected” me first in order to protect himself.

I was blown away! Not only did I appreciate his honesty, but all these years I carried around feelings of not being good enough only to hear he felt the same way.

I think this is often the case in relationships when two imperfect people come together with unresolved childhood wounds and don’t speak candidly about their true feelings—often times because it is too painful or difficult to even admit to ourselves, let alone others.

It is more difficult to see at the time, but with practice, I am able to look back at jobs I didn’t get and men who never called again, and see how perfect it all has been because much bigger and better opportunities, experiences and people have come into my life as a result.

When I hear “No” now, I get excited because I know a much more suitable “Yes!” is right around the corner.

I no longer subscribe to the notion that an opportunity was unfairly taken away from me or is being withheld. I choose to believe that potential heartaches and roadblocks are being removed.

My life has shifted dramatically since I stopped taking rejection personally.

I’ve given up the constant obsession of, “What did I do wrong?”

The truth is there is nothing wrong with me. The particular person or situation was simply not a good fit for me, that’s all.

I’ve decided it isn’t my job to analyze why I was rejected, but it is my responsibility to remind myself of my inherent worthiness.

I do this through daily acts of self care and love, and by validating myself, rather than looking for acceptance and approval through a job, relationship or dare I say—social media. At the end of the day, my opinion of myself is the only one that really matters. I’m also finding that when I accept and love myself, others accept and love me as well.

The Empowered Woman Workshop

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YOU HAVE A BIG VISION.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE MEANT TO BE LIVING A MUCH BIGGER, BRIGHTER, MORE UPLIFTING
AND FULFILLING LIFE THAN YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

We totally get it.

Do you want to experience freedom from debt, poor relationships with yourself and others, suffering, grief, stress, overwhelm and anxiety?

Are you ready to call in your dream career and/or relationship, and experience financial freedom and true abundance?

Now is your time.

With more than a decade of combined leadership and life coaching experience, my dear friend, Dana Gatziolis, and I will help you achieve your goals, release fear, and gain the confidence to step into your power so you can create contagious joy and a deeper sense of peace for yourself and others.

We’ve created The Empowered Woman Workshop to give you the guidance, inspiration and motivation to help you improve the quality of your life and relationships while connecting you to your spiritual side.

You will learn vital tools and tips, and tried-and-true methods that produce measurable results. We know–we’ve been using them on ourselves every day!

At this exciting, weekend-long workshop, we will create the space for you to have fun and open up in a completely non-judgmental, safe environment.

All you have to do is sign up, trust and expect miracles!

Life is meant to be spectacular. Let’s do this!

WHEN?

May 14-15, 2016. Nashville, Tennessee. We will begin promptly at 9 am on Saturday and go until around 2 pm on Sunday.

WHY YOU NEED TO ATTEND!

We know you, babe. You’ve been thinking about, talking about and praying about your big vision and dream life for longer than you’d like to admit, but you’ve been playing small. Not sure how to move forward. Feeling stuck.

In this transformational event, Kate and Dana will help you to step into your power, own your purpose and start doing what it is that you’ve been dreaming of.

Dana and I will show you how to…

+ Step into your purpose, passion + power
+ Release self-limiting beliefs and the old story that is holding you back from stepping into your greatness
+ Get paid to do what you love by following our results-driven, practical + spiritually aligned system for sharing your message and work with the people who want and need it most
+ Use your gifts and your “mess” as your message – how to use what you’ve been given to serve in big and purpose-filled ways
+ Become unapologetic about the great work that you are here to do – and be compensated for it!
+ Experience quantum shifts: raise your self-worth in order to raise your net-worth
+ Become a confident and heart centered leader, whether you’re doing it as a coach, business owner, hair dresser, teacher, mother…whatever!

During the workshop, we will be sharing the practices, methods, meditations, and techniques that we’ve been using for years in order to create the lives and careers that have served us beyond our wildest dreams.

We will help you connect with the deepest part of yourself – the part that you’ve probably been hiding from for a while. You will find that your strength resides within that powerful side of yourself and will leave the workshop confidently able to move past fear and lean on love no matter what challenges or opportunities you’re presented with in the future…

No matter how many times you fall.
No matter how many doubts creep up – because they always do.
No matter what.

Because when you are equipped with a spiritual tool box that we are going to give to you, you’ll be able to manifest a life / business / career / relationship that you are wildly in love with.

This isn’t just a workshop, it’s an experience of connecting to yourself in a way that you’ve been longing for. You’ll learn to tap into the wisdom of your inner guide over the noise of the world around you and your own limiting beliefs and doubts. By learning to use this miracle mindset, you’ll go forth with confidence, no longer a victim to the fear that holds so many of us back from living out our dreams and purpose!

While this is a deep training, it’s also a LOT of fun! Get ready for the time of your life!

WHERE?

The workshop will be held at Atmalogy – a beautiful cafe and event space in the heart of Music City (Nashville, TN).

WHO IS THIS FOR?

The Empowered Woman Workshop is for women of all ages. We welcome teens, college students, young professionals, and women of all ages who are ready to step fully into their greatness. If you crave more purpose, passion, and meaning in your life, but you lack the confidence and direction to get there – then THIS is the workshop for you.

INVESTMENT

We are so excited to offer this value-packed event for a (one-time only) low investment of $150. The workshop is valued at over $1999, so this is a complete steal. Don’t miss out!
signup

FAQ

Is travel / meals / lodging included in the price of the workshop?
No. Travel plans, dining and lodging is all up to you. We know that everyone has different preferences on where to stay, what to eat, and how to get here. Upon signing up, you will receive a guide with multiple suggestions on where to stay, where to eat and parking information (if you’ll be driving).

Is this workshop going to be held again at this price?
There are plans to have more Empowered Woman Workshops in the future, however, this is the ONLY time that it will be offered at such a low investment price. Jump now so you can take advantage of this one-time opportunity.

Is it ok to come alone?
Yes! Both Kate and Dana have attended many workshops / retreats / events without knowing anyone. They’ve found that the experience is almost better that way. You’re much more open to meeting people who you may not have met if you had a friend with you. Be prepared to meet lots of like-minded soul sisters. This is exactly how Kate and Dana met – at a very similar weekend workshop!

I have another question that is not listed here…
No problem! Email dana.gatziolis@gmail.com or kate_eckman@yahoo.com with any questions.

Hope to see you there!

 

 

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