#positivity

How To Actually “Let It Go” And Feel Empowered And At Peace

When confiding in a trusted friend or family member about something that is bothering me, I am often told to just “let it go.”

“Yes, great, I would love that,” I think to myself, “but how exactly do I do that?”

We usually know when we need to “let it go” but what if we aren’t quite ready or we are really stinking mad, and need to sit with those feelings for a minute? Sometimes someone suggesting we just “let it go” seems a little harsh and angers us even more.

Being human means people will annoy and upset us, circumstances and situations will disappoint us, and we will be left feeling powerless at times. The good news is we don’t have to stay stuck. We can lean back into a more joyful, empowered state. We can feel peaceful. We can trust we are on the right path, and everything is happening for us and the greatest good for all.

Here are some spiritual practices I regularly use to bring me back to center and feel more joyful:

1. Reframe what it means to “let it go.”

Instead of saying “let it go,” I say “please take this from me.” This means surrendering our stress, frustration, disappointment, or whatever is troubling us to the God of our own understanding. This may look something like, “Wow, I am really judging this person, please take this from me.” Or “I am freaking out about I am going to get this job/relationship/money, please take this from me.”

Acknowledging the presence of a higher power reminds us that we are never alone and always being guided and protected. When we are fearful, we have forgotten this and are relying on our strength alone. Let the Universe assist you. It’s a simple way to take back your power.

Working as a freelancer, I live a lot of my life in limbo. I’m constantly in between jobs and up for big projects. I used to be in a constant state of fear, desperately trying to control outcomes. Stress and anxiety led the way. This is what I call a low vibration. It didn’t feel good at all because I was giving all my power away.

When I find myself getting caught up in why I didn’t get the job, why so and so didn’t call me back or support me, how am I going to pay off my credit card, lose the weight, find a worthy life partner or even a parking spot in New York City, I stop, take a step back, and ask God/Spirit/Universe to lead the way and work out all the details.

“Let it go” has new meaning to me. It isn’t about trying to pretend something doesn’t bother us. It isn’t about trying to control someone with our behavior. It isn’t fear or not caring. It is doing nothing and everything all at once: surrendering.

2. Acknowledge your resistance and attachments.

I recently received some feedback from a potential client that initially felt disappointing. My immediate knee-jerk reaction was, “I don’t want to do it that way. I shouldn’t have to jump through these hoops.” When I stepped back from the experience, and realized how resistant I was being to this expert’s feedback, I felt a big shift. I was then able to interpret the feedback as a valuable gift; information that could be used to my advantage to make me a more attractive candidate, not just to this client, but all clients. It is also motivated me to take inspired action and create my first online course to help others design more fulfilling and purpose-driven lives.

I also recognized how I was being resistant to applying the spiritual principle listed above, and trusting solely on myself instead of allowing a higher power to guide me and trust this “rejection” was actually a good thing, leading me to an even better opportunity.

Often times we are so attached to wanting to work with a particular client or be in a relationship with a certain person that we cause ourselves unnecessary pain. As Buddha said, “All suffering comes from attachment.”

A big step in “letting it go” is becoming detached, rather than grasping onto a person, job or situation that we think will make us happy. When we become aware we are behaving this way, we can adjust our thoughts and release expectations. We are all going to fall off the path, that’s a given, but what matters is how quickly we come back to center. Let yourself off the hook.

3. Choose stillness.

Our willingness to see things differently is everything. When we are willing to choose love instead of fear, peace instead of chaos, and stillness and non-reactivity instead of anger and attack, we will create the space to become more deeply fulfilled people.

When we are triggered, it can be very painful, but it is also a beautiful opportunity to expand and grow into a more enlightened person. We do this by disciplining our minds, and choosing stillness, peace, love, forgiveness, compassion even when we feel tempted to judge, blame, criticize, attack or feel unworthy.

Sometimes that means admitting to ourselves that we are not enlightened enough to not feel angry or insulted, but we are enlightened enough to know not to send that text or email or make a phone call when we are in that place.

4. Create a new story/mantra for yourself.

Sit quietly in prayer or meditation, and affirm to yourself that the entire universe is set up for your good. Be aware in an awe of the blessings and miracles all around you, knowing that the person, situation or experience you desire is on its way to you. It could even be standing right next to you, and you just need to open yourself up to that possibility.

My mantra is: Everything that could possibly contribute to my happiness is already here or on its way.

 

How To Build Strong (Emotional) Muscles, And Feel Peaceful No Matter What

Emotional Muscles

We all know that if we want to be physically fit, we have to workout and train our physical muscles through cardiovascular exercises, strength-training, stretching and so on. We also know this takes great discipline, and we can’t just work out sporadically and expect great results.

While much societal emphasis is placed on the importance of having a strong, fit, healthy body, less attention is paid to developing healthy emotional muscles. Self-control over our feelings needs regular exercise to stay strong as well.

Why This Is Important

Have you ever been having a perfectly fine (even wonderful!) day, only to receive an upsetting phone call or rude email that instantly “ruins” your day? I know I have. I recently received a phone call from my agent alerting me to the fact that a client was refusing to pay me for a job I had already performed, making all kinds of excuses and trying to justify why withholding payment was perfectly normal.

I found myself getting so irate, taking their unprofessionalism personally and feeling personally attacked, saying “How dare they mess with my money!” While I had a valid reason to be upset, nothing is worth getting that worked up over and spiraling into a state of despair.

It is one thing for someone to try to hurt us financially, but yet another to allow a person to steal our joy. I literally gave away my good mood for free, and there is no price tag we can put on our peace and happiness. It is invaluable.

I learned a huge lesson that day. I saw how easily I let another person and unfortunate situation control my mood. I knew I never wanted to feel this way again. Certainly none of us are going to go through the rest of our lives without experiencing hurts and frustrations, and it’s important to embrace the fact that we are 100% responsible for our reactions to upsetting events. In other words, most of us need to bulk up our emotional muscles.

How To Build Courage Muscles:

1. Learn to discipline your emotions.

If you’re a parent, you’re probably all too familiar with giving your children a “time-out.” Sometimes as adults, we need a time-out, too. We can discipline our emotions by refusing to let our feelings rule our lives. Rather than acting on emotional impulses and saying or doing something we will later regret, we can resist the temptation and see our reaction as an opportunity to grow and develop character.

There will always be opportunities to lose our temper and get upset, but when we feel our emotions rising, we can choose not to act on them, and stay calm instead. It’s the same thing as not feeling like going to the gym, but you go anyway because you are disciplined and know how good you will feel after your workout.

2. Take the high road. Forgive.

When someone is rude to us, and we don’t engage, we pass the metaphorical test. When we are willing to apologize even when it’s not our fault, we grow up fast and build strong character that attracts abundance into our lives.

We will always be tempted to over-react in the areas where we are the weakest. These situations shine a light on our own limits to love. It is easy to love people who are loving, but the challenge is to love those who are behaving in unloving ways. They teach us how to love better and stronger. Forgive them. They are growing your character.

3. Don’t get on board.

It’s hard to overlook an insult, keep a positive attitude and be patient when nothing seems to be going our way. We think if those rude people would just stop being rude, everything would be great. But when we allow ourselves to realize that this rude person or upsetting situation is perfect for us because it allows us to change for the better, we take back our power.

It may not feel very pleasant to do 100 burpees at the gym with your personal trainer, but think how strong your body will look and feel if you commit to exercising your physical muscles this way on a regular basis. The same applies to our emotional muscle workouts.

So the next time somebody does you wrong and you want to get upset, send an unloving text or email, scream at the top of your lungs or completely shut down, see it as a beautiful opportunity to heal an old wound and grow immensely. With practice, you will become more and more non-reactive, and feel a greater sense of peace and freedom.

Remember, when you see the anger train coming, you don’t have to get on board!

Join the list

Want inspiration in your inbox plus a free Soul Goals sheet?!