How To Unsubscribe From The Struggle And Find True Contentment


As the new year rang in, and messages like, “Make it happen!” and “Grab the bull by the horns!” bombarded me everywhere I turned, all I felt like doing was taking a nap and quietly reflecting and resting.

My first thought was that something was wrong with me for not wanting to achieve a new goal, or make anything happen. I simply wanted to do nothing, and a part of me was judging myself for it. I took to my meditation pillow for some guidance, asking my higher self for some insight.

The response I received was:

“Do nothing. You need to rest. Take a moment to reflect and honor yourself for everything you achieved even just last year alone. No wonder you are exhausted.”

As a Type-A, over-achieving go-getter, the notion of doing nothing feels like death to the ego. Much of my life (like many other people) has been defined by what I accomplish in the material world, and proving my worth to myself and others. I know I am not alone in feeling guilt and judgment for wanting to slow down and just be.

In the spirit of a fresh year, I decided to try something new: surrender to my inner wisdom and truth.

I took my slow work schedule as a sign and signal to ask myself who I am without all my achievements and accomplishments in the outside world. Who am I without my career, looks, money, fancy clothes, car and condo? What does it really mean to live a “good life?”

Even just a year ago, if I had a month off of work, I would have freaked out and gone into panic mode about how my bills would get paid and why I wasn’t booking more jobs. I decided I was tired of that way of thinking. It’s exhausting and doesn’t attract anything positive into my life. Instead of pushing, forcing or trying to “make things happen,” I’m consciously choosing to do less and let go of trying to control the situation.

As a suicide prevention awareness advocate, one of my messages is, “Never give up.” But when it comes to trying to control and manipulate outcomes in our lives, I’m discovering that “giving up” is necessary. Giving up isn’t throwing in the towel, it’s an act of faith. It’s a powerful devotion to a higher power.

Giving up or surrendering as an act of faith is a whole new way of problem-solving. It is a more grounding and peaceful approach to getting what we want more easily. It is the opposite of rushing around or forcing, it is about letting ourselves and our lives unfold more naturally, piece by piece, layer by layer.

It reminds me of nature. Nature does not struggle to express its beauty and glory. Flowers weren’t created to struggle, and neither were we as human beings. That’s just a lie we’ve been told in a “Be productive and make it happen!” society. But we don’t have to subscribe to the struggle.

Let 2017 be the year we unsubscribe from the struggle!

It is easier to give up the struggle when we realize our lives are so much more than what we achieve materially. What if we could begin to see ourselves and our lives with fresh new eyes, and focus more on our emotional journey home to our true selves?

My goals are no longer wrapped up in a dream job or relationship—both of which are fantastic, but nothing outside of ourselves can give us lasting happiness. My new goal is radical self-acceptance, inner peace and deep, fulfilling joy. Some days, that looks like hard work in the outside world, and other days, it means staying home in my pajamas taking care of my inner child, feeling my feelings, giving myself empathy and conserving energy.

Society tells us how acceptable it is to work ourselves to exhaustion in the name of making “it” happen—a career, relationship, family, business—but not nearly enough time and attention is paid to our emotional journey home to ourselves.

I really fought myself for not feeling like doing anything for days. As it turns out, “not doing anything” was achieving something extraordinary—a beautiful, healthy, kind, loving relationship with myself. When we learn to stop pushing and accept the perfection of what is, we can enjoy the perfect place we are in.

Sometimes “giving up” as an act of faith is all we need. Try it out for yourself!

View my story on elephantjournal.com.

Attracting Abundance Into Your Life: Simple Steps To Feel More Successful


When most of us think of abundance, we think of money. But I think abundance can mean different things to different people. For some, abundance means time, connection, support, creativity, confidence.

Whatever abundance means to you, I’ve learned that abundance is always coming to us, it is always present like the sun, it’s just that sometimes we don’t see it because it is blocked by clouds. We create clouds/blocks to abundance with our fear, insecurities and guilt.

Maybe we think we aren’t worthy of financial freedom, or having enough time to care for ourselves. Maybe we feel guilty for having “too much.”

For me, the key to attracting abundance is to recognize all the ways in which we block it from flowing freely into our lives. It is our choice whether we accept or deny the gifts that are continuously coming to us.

I’ve found that when my work and desires are in the service of others, (to share my own unique gifts and talents in the form of creativity, time, money, resources, ideas, love with the world), I am given everything I need—money, time, creativity, confidence.

Abundance is simply stepping out of our own way, releasing resistance, being grateful for what we already have and open to receiving more.

It’s not about receiving more money so I can have more material “stuff”, it’s about being given plenty of resources so I don’t have to stress about having enough time and money, for example, while I’m busy trying to help others through my work.

I’ll give you an example. I was stuck in some fearful thinking when I recently lost several modeling clients. I was in a constant state of frustration, sometimes even anger, because I was losing clients for such ridiculous reasons: One client turned me into a computer-generated image of myself, and never hired me again as a way to cut costs. Yes, a computer mannequin version of myself took my job.

Another client decided they didn’t want to work with my agency anymore. One client decided to start shooting on much smaller models. I was dropped. All in all, I lost nearly all of my main clients and the majority of my income for reasons that had nothing to do with me or my performance. Initially, I dealt with it by panicking. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me, and I wondered how I was going to pay my bills some months. I didn’t realize my fear and insecurities were blocking me from receiving abundance.

So how did I get out of my own way?

I surrendered. I asked my Higher Self/God/Spirit/Universe for help. I prayed and then sat in meditation daily (which I still do), asking for divine guidance, asking how I could serve my life purpose.

The answer I received was that I have a much bigger purpose than modeling. That career has taught me what I needed to learn, and now it is time to move on. The lessons I have learned through my triumphs, traumas and tragedies have given me the gifts I need to help others heal through writing, speaking and sharing my truth.

I have been guided to read certain books, take courses, go back to school and connect with other like-minded individuals, many of whom have asked me to collaborate on work projects with them. When I finally let go of modeling being my main source of income, and became open to other opportunities, which serve the highest good for all, I received phone calls, emails and met CEOs who offered me exciting, new employment opportunities that not surprisingly help others.

Even a woman who worked for the client who turned me into a computer-generated image of myself contacted me, asking to feature my work for the new wellness magazine she works for.

Now, instead of freaking out, asking why all my clients and money were disappearing, I say, “Thank you.” I know something bigger and better is taking its place.

I ask the Universe to use me as a role model for peace, love and compassion. Instead of feeling guilty or selfish for receiving, I reframe abundance as the more we allow ourselves to receive, the more we can share with others as we are all connected.

Here are some simple steps you can take to call more abundance into your life:


My mantra is, “I trust that the Universe is supporting me abundantly.”

Be in the feeling of abundance.

Allow yourself to sit quietly, and feel the feelings of being financially free and secure. What does that feel like?

How does it feel to have plenty of time for you to get your needs met?

How does it feel to have an abundance of love and relationships that light you and make you feel honored, respected and supported?

Give yourself the time and space to take in all of that abundance. It may be helpful to write about it in your journal to refer back to.

Be grateful for what you already have.

I’ve found that when I am thankful for all the ways in which I am already abundant, I easily attract more of it into my life. A simple prayer is, “Thank you.”

Change your story.

Instead of, “I am not enough and don’t have enough,” lead with, “I am already abundant.”

Strengthen your faith.

Recognize that you can’t create the life of your dreams all on your own. Ask for guidance and support from a higher power or whatever you believe in. Be open, and unattached from how you will get what you desire.

Release fear and resistance.

Engage with the world from a loving, rather than fearful place. Ask your higher power to remove all obstacles to abundance.

Say a prayer.

Dear God/Spirit/Universe,

Please help me to receive everything I need for my divine life purpose. Show me the way one step at a time how I can make the world a better place, and how I can be more at peace.

Mediate and ask for Divine guidance.

Envision what you desire in the here and now, not down the road, otherwise it will always allude you. Create the space for receiving abundance in all ways. You can say it out loud or write in your journal the following:

I deserve to receive good as much as anyone.

It is safe for me to receive abundance now.

I open my arms to receive it.

I will be guided and given enough energy to follow through on that guidance.

I accept the support that is offered to me.

Wishing you an abundance of abundance in all areas of your life!








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