#Relationships

A Simple Exercise For Deep Healing And Transformation

IMG_5718 The Pagoda at The Sanctuary at Two Rivers in Cabuya, Costa Rica

I have attended several spiritual seminars and retreats this past year, and the biggest take away from them all is the power of sharing your truth with others. There is so much strength and wisdom in being vulnerable and authentic.

When I share my story and speak my truth, my life is transformed. Trauma and sadness from my past lose power over me. I feel lighter as the tight grip of shame is released.

Opening up and listening to others also allows me to see how much we are all alike–we all long for the freedom to be ourselves, to be loved and accepted in a compassionate, judgement-free environment. We are all insecure in some way, we all battle with not feeling good enough, we all want to love ourselves deeper and more effortlessly. We want financial freedom, peace of mind, and to know that we matter.

Deep healing and transformation occurred for me through journaling and sharing truth. The exercise of writing down the story I’m ready to release, and replacing it with the story I’m choosing to create has proven to be life-altering for me.

I invite you to take some quiet time for yourself, and do the following exercise with me:

The story I release is…

For example, I wrote: I have so many sad stories when it comes to men. There’s no need to rehash them here. They’ve lived in my bones for years. I’m healing those sad stories.

In Costa Rica, I released all that sadness, and the stories I created around these men that aren’t based in reality, but fear:

Am I good enough?

Am I pretty enough?

When I accomplish more, I will be worthy of him. He will notice me, and want to be with me.

I’m not skinny enough for him.

It was my fault.

Why do I insist on loving men who do not love me?

 

This is where you get all your sadness, anger, disappointment and trauma out on paper. Take as long as you need. Get it all out. No editing needed. Just write. Cry. Release.

Once you are finished, you will now turn the page in your journal, and write the NEW story you are creating for yourself.

I wrote:

It all sounds so silly now.

It has nothing to do with them.

It was all happening for me.

It made me who I am today, and gosh I love that person. I light up a room. I tell the truth. I am beautiful just because. Any man would be lucky to be with me. I’ve done the work. I’ve worked my shit out. I own who I am. I have so much love to give. I know because I’ve given it so freely to others my entire life.

Now, it is my time. I’ve learned to give this ridiculously fierce love to myself. I am strong. I am powerful. I am happy and in love with myself. That’s how I know I am ready for my papi. Not so he can complete me, or allow me to live up to some silly societal standard, but because I deserve to have mirrored back to me the love I so freely give.

It’s time. I’m ready. Thank you for all the lessons. Thank you Raf and Sam (my deceased loved ones) for watching over me. I release you now, too. You are free to go, and let me love someone who truly loves themselves–only HE is the perfect match for me.

I love you, Kate ­čÖé xoxo

I shared this story with the 14 other women on my SISTERHOOD retreat last week in Costa Rica. I sobbed the whole way through. It was a huge release to get it all out, be my most raw, vulnerable self, and call in the new story and life I am consciously creating.

The day after I returned home, I met the kind of man I have been praying for–the man I called in during my retreat. We had a beautiful first date the following night. I could easily project fear onto the relationship because of my past, but because I released all of that and now choose joy and love, I am able to relax, enjoy the moment, trust and expect miracles.

I wish the same for you. It is your choice. You have all the power. All you have to do is step into it.

IMG_5743 The Sanctuary at Two Rivers where I wrote the story I was ready to release.

 

 

Writing A Love Letter To Your Younger Self

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I was born in a historic blizzard in Cincinnati, Ohio, and this past Saturday I spent my birthday snowed in during another record-setting blizzard in New York City.

One of my favorite mantras is, “Everything is perfect,” so as I winked back at God, curled up with some hot tea in my favorite robe, and began to reflect back on my special day (January 23), I couldn’t help but think of the little girl in the picture above.

I’m very proud of this little girl. She has been through a lot, but she never stops smiling.
When I feel the need to be self critical, I think of this little girl, and remember to love and nurture her instead. She deserves the world, and I’m going to give it to her.

My birthday wish is that you can do the same for yourself. I think we’d live in a much different world.

I invite you to take a few minutes to do a simple exercise with me in the name of self-love and your younger self. Find a photo of yourself as a child. If you can’t find one, close your eyes and imagine him or her in your mind. Your smile, laughter, innocence, joy, curiosity and hope.

That beautiful child still lives within you, and needs your care, kindness, gentleness and unconditional love. He or she needs to feel nurtured and supported. Your younger self needs to be forgiven in a non-judgmental way. This child needs to know everything is going to be ok.

Are you ready to give this awesome kid your attention?

When you feel ready, write this gorgeous soul a nurturing love letter. Tell her what you wish she had known back then. Give him the encouragement and guidance you wish someone had given you. Tell her some comforting words to get her through a challenging time.

As an adult, I used to catch myself dishing out some serious negative self talk and criticism (it has become less and less frequent now through consciously choosing to work through it), but if someone said even ONE hurtful thing to the little girl in the photo above, I would immediately go into protective mama bear mode, and fiercely roar at them.

This love note is just for you and your younger self, so no need to edit, just let your feelings flow. Really connect to this child. I find the exercise to be extremely healing, and it helps me connect back to myself, realizing I am that little girl, and I need to be kind and loving at all times.

This practice is therapeutic because it connects you to your heart–your true self. In the past when I was confronted with a crisis or indecision, I would seek out the advice of others, often times ignoring my own inner wisdom and guidance. My mind/ego was too in the way.

Connecting with my inner child and heart space allows me to listen to my own advice, which always points me in the right direction. I make decisions for the highest good for all.

The more you do this exercise and consciously consider the welfare of your younger self, the easier it will be to honor and embrace the person you are right now.

Here’s an example of a love note I wrote to my younger self:

Dear Kate,

I know you are in a lot of pain, and feel so alone. You don’t know what you’ve done to deserve this broken heart. I’m here to tell you that the pain you are in will become your purpose in life. Your broken heart will help others heal their broken hearts. Hang in there. Be kind to yourself. You are so strong and brave. I am so incredibly proud of you. You never give up. You always manage to land on your feet because of your fierce character, and yes, that broken heart of yours will make you a deeper, richer, wiser, more┬ácompassionate woman.

When you get rejected, say, “Thank you,” you are being guided to something so much bigger and better and perfect for you. I have your back. You are safe. You will experience so much love and joy if you just quiet your mind and allow it to happen.

You are so incredibly loved and blessed. You are going to live the life of your dreams.

Just trust. 

Just trust.

I hope you take some time to honor yourself and your inner child. He or she needs you, and is waiting to connect with you, heal and grow.

Sending so much love and hugs!

Kate

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