#wisdom

A Simple Exercise For Deep Healing And Transformation

IMG_5718 The Pagoda at The Sanctuary at Two Rivers in Cabuya, Costa Rica

I have attended several spiritual seminars and retreats this past year, and the biggest take away from them all is the power of sharing your truth with others. There is so much strength and wisdom in being vulnerable and authentic.

When I share my story and speak my truth, my life is transformed. Trauma and sadness from my past lose power over me. I feel lighter as the tight grip of shame is released.

Opening up and listening to others also allows me to see how much we are all alike–we all long for the freedom to be ourselves, to be loved and accepted in a compassionate, judgement-free environment. We are all insecure in some way, we all battle with not feeling good enough, we all want to love ourselves deeper and more effortlessly. We want financial freedom, peace of mind, and to know that we matter.

Deep healing and transformation occurred for me through journaling and sharing truth. The exercise of writing down the story I’m ready to release, and replacing it with the story I’m choosing to create has proven to be life-altering for me.

I invite you to take some quiet time for yourself, and do the following exercise with me:

The story I release is…

For example, I wrote: I have so many sad stories when it comes to men. There’s no need to rehash them here. They’ve lived in my bones for years. I’m healing those sad stories.

In Costa Rica, I released all that sadness, and the stories I created around these men that aren’t based in reality, but fear:

Am I good enough?

Am I pretty enough?

When I accomplish more, I will be worthy of him. He will notice me, and want to be with me.

I’m not skinny enough for him.

It was my fault.

Why do I insist on loving men who do not love me?

 

This is where you get all your sadness, anger, disappointment and trauma out on paper. Take as long as you need. Get it all out. No editing needed. Just write. Cry. Release.

Once you are finished, you will now turn the page in your journal, and write the NEW story you are creating for yourself.

I wrote:

It all sounds so silly now.

It has nothing to do with them.

It was all happening for me.

It made me who I am today, and gosh I love that person. I light up a room. I tell the truth. I am beautiful just because. Any man would be lucky to be with me. I’ve done the work. I’ve worked my shit out. I own who I am. I have so much love to give. I know because I’ve given it so freely to others my entire life.

Now, it is my time. I’ve learned to give this ridiculously fierce love to myself. I am strong. I am powerful. I am happy and in love with myself. That’s how I know I am ready for my papi. Not so he can complete me, or allow me to live up to some silly societal standard, but because I deserve to have mirrored back to me the love I so freely give.

It’s time. I’m ready. Thank you for all the lessons. Thank you Raf and Sam (my deceased loved ones) for watching over me. I release you now, too. You are free to go, and let me love someone who truly loves themselves–only HE is the perfect match for me.

I love you, Kate 🙂 xoxo

I shared this story with the 14 other women on my SISTERHOOD retreat last week in Costa Rica. I sobbed the whole way through. It was a huge release to get it all out, be my most raw, vulnerable self, and call in the new story and life I am consciously creating.

The day after I returned home, I met the kind of man I have been praying for–the man I called in during my retreat. We had a beautiful first date the following night. I could easily project fear onto the relationship because of my past, but because I released all of that and now choose joy and love, I am able to relax, enjoy the moment, trust and expect miracles.

I wish the same for you. It is your choice. You have all the power. All you have to do is step into it.

IMG_5743 The Sanctuary at Two Rivers where I wrote the story I was ready to release.

 

 

What I Learned In The Costa Rica Jungle

My favorite thing to do is laugh and make others laugh. I think there is so much joy and freedom in laughter, and I could not stop laughing at the SISTERHOOD retreat in Costa Rica.

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SISTERHOOD retreat at The Sanctuary at Two Rivers in Costa Rica. We are wearing our favorite yoga pants: Miami Fit Wear (www.miamifitwear.com), created by fellow sister, Raquel Ponce (front)

Fifteen women ranging in age from 19 to 47 arrived at The Sanctuary at Two Rivers in Cabuya, Costa Rica, for a weeklong adventure of self discovery, transformation and fun. We stayed in eco-chic tree houses enclosed with screens where we went to sleep and woke up to real-life jungle sounds of monkeys, insects and birds—no sound machines or alarm clocks needed! The howler monkeys (who sound like shrieking deep-voiced aliens) and the sun let us know when it was time to wake up.

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We showered outside surrounded by lush jungle plants and trees. To even get a cab into town, we had to hike down an obstacle course-like path filled with large rocks and rivers (sometimes in the dark using only my cell phone flashlight to guide my way.) The hike took about 30 minutes. I was soaking wet every time. Bug bites and bee stings were a common and expected occurrence.

We packed into old, beat up papi cars (a car driven by a Costa Rican man, whom I called papis), to get into town or go to the beach. I was so completely outside of my comfort zone (literally sweating 24/7 with no air conditioning in 90 degree jungle heat), but I found myself unable to stop laughing the entire trip. Literally, everything was hilarious. (We weren’t even allowed to flush our toilet paper because of weak plumbing.)

The Costa Rican jungle was stunningly majestic, but it was also extremely uncomfortable for me. It was hot. I was wet and sweaty at all times. There were no air-conditioned rooms to retreat to. I looked and felt like a wet dog. I didn’t feel remotely pretty. I wanted these incredible new women I was meeting to think I was beautiful, and that I looked like I do in my modeling portfolio.

Any makeup I tried to wear wouldn’t last five minutes, I would sweat it off. My usually perfectly styled, thick, wavy hair was tied up in a frizzy knot, trying to stay cool and out of the way.

I kept waiting for someone to care that I looked like a hot mess, but nobody did. I quickly learned it is okay to not look cute, seriously, nobody cares. It was like being eight-years-old again: the most important thing was to have fun, play, laugh, dance, climb mountains, get dirty, messy, swim, snorkel and go with the flow.

The freedom of it all made me laugh, thinking about how seriously we take our day-to-day lives, when what we should really be doing is surrendering to what is, trust we are on the right path (even in the dark), remember we are always supported, expect miracles and sit back, relax and allow true transformation to occur.

Stress has no place in the jungle. It gets laughed at. My absurd, self-limiting beliefs and stories I have created over the years that no longer serve me are comical. I let them all go with a deep breath and a deep, hearty laugh.

The heat makes me uncomfortable, but also present—I must stop and pay attention to the fact that even my knees are sweating, and it is okay. Self awareness is sexy. Joy is girl-next-door hot. Not needing to be anything but myself—sweaty face, bad hair day and all—is success. It is healthy to let go. It is safe for me to be myself. I am supported.

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The ultimate nourishment: homemade, fresh, organic, vegetarian meals prepared for us three times a day.

This epic adventure wasn’t about going to Costa Rica, it was about journeying inside, reconnecting with and embracing my fearless 8-year-old self, sharing my truth and coming home.

I wrote the following in my journal. This is my wish for everyone. You don’t have to travel abroad, you just have to be willing to open up and let go:

Fifteen sisters went off into the jungle and had the time of their lives. Opened up. Showed up big. Let it go. Let it fly. Surrendered to something so much greater than themselves. Relaxed. Released. Loved more. Lived easier. Created harder. Smiled. Felt free. Felt supported. Felt alive. Breathed easier. Got on with what’s really important, what really matters: They loved themselves. Effortlessly. Easily. And so it is. All is well.

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Santa Teresa Beach sunset

For more information on SISTERHOOD, you can email the creator, Emily Nolan: emily@mykindoflife.com.

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