#wisdom

The Key To Manifesting A Miracle

BLOGTOUR

I am so thrilled and honored to be a part of this exciting GLOWSCHOOL BLOG TOUR created by my dear friend, Dana Gatziolis. I met Dana at Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass Level 2 last October at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Massachusetts. Glow is the perfect word to describe Dana–she has a true zest for life, and radiates light and love. You simply feel better when you are in her presence.

Dana also gave me an incredible gift during her transformational talk at our retreat. Her courage to speak openly about a painful experience (something I have also lived through) broke me wide open, and gave me the freedom to release deep-seated wounds. It was one of the greatest gifts anyone has ever given me, and it didn’t cost a dime.

That’s what I learned that day: Nothing is more healing, freeing and powerful than sharing our stories, sharing our TRUTH.

That’s what this blog tour is all about: Empowered women sharing their truth, and creating the space for others to share theirs as well. As I like to say: Share your truth, Save your life.

I’m sending you all the courage, confidence, love and support to dig deep, share your story, accept, witness and feel the pain associated with your deep-seated wounds, discover the spiritual lesson in the hurt (there is always a beautiful lesson), and find compassion for yourself and others to forgive and heal. This is the year to choose again, and be happy.

It’s your moment, let’s GLOW!

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My life has been about striving for perfection while constantly questioning, “Am I good enough?”

Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Thin, toned and strong enough? Am I lovable? Have I accomplished enough?

I work full-time as a model. I’m what the industry refers to as a “plus-size” or “curve” model because I am bigger than a size 4/6. I’ve spent years looking for validation in all the wrong places—model castings—where clients judge us based on hair color and hip size, and society, which thinks we should all be a size 2 with big boobs.

When I book jobs and build steady clients, I feel validated. I’m busy, I’m making great money, and my friends and relatives can see me in magazines, in stores and online.

Then I lost my main client. A new person in charge decided to shoot on smaller models. Another steady client decided to hire all new models and “switch things up.” I was dropped.

I was going on more castings than ever before, but I wasn’t booking the jobs. My breaking point came when I was up for a huge national campaign that paid a ton of money. I was so excited about the opportunity. The casting director told my agent she absolutely loved me, and thought I was a perfect fit. I didn’t get the job.

I remember walking down Park Avenue crying. I knew the decision wasn’t personal, but it felt that way. I know the business I choose to work in is extremely competitive and has nothing to do with how nice I am, how smart I am, how hard I work. Despite knowing better, I started down a dangerous spiral of, “Why don’t they like me? What’s wrong with me? What do I need to change about myself?”

The “I’m not good enough” thoughts were attacking my mind, and I felt my breathing start to change. I was having a panic attack on Park Avenue.

After a good cry, good meal and good conversation with a dear friend, I went home and told myself, “Something’s gotta give here, Kate.” I always thought of myself as one of the happiest people I know, and now here I was having a meltdown almost weekly. It wasn’t healthy.

I’m smart enough to know that happiness begins and ends with me, but I was in too much pain to shift my thoughts all on my own. 

I needed help. I prayed for a miracle. Instead of saying, I give up, I said, I give it all up to you, God. I surrender.

In admitting to myself that I didn’t have all the answers, and surrendering to something so much greater than myself, I experienced a kind of peace and freedom that I haven’t felt since I was a child. 

Releasing my need to be validated by others, (which I often justified because a client’s validation of me pays my bills), and turning instead to the grace of God to guide me to love and validate myself has literally saved my life.

Being in alignment with a greater power has given me my power back. I can relax. I trust. I know that the Universe has my back. I am taken care of, and even when it seems that things are not lining up in my favor, I quickly see how everything is happening FOR me. 

When I get my ego out of the way, and ask for the highest energy of the Universe to speak to me and through me, and show me the way, meltdowns are replaced by miracles. I expect them now.

That desperate need to try to control outcomes has been replaced with acceptance of what is and allowing what is meant for me. Not everything is meant for me. I am ok with that now.

Now, when I don’t book a job, I’m fine with it. The obsessive thoughts over what I could have done differently or better, or stories I used to create about not being good enough have been replaced with excitement about what bigger and better plan is in store for me.

One of my favorite mantras is, “This or something better.” So when I don’t book “this” job, I know I’m about to land something better and perfect for me.

I live in faith now, not fear. I go in, I do my best, I have fun, smile and give it my all. Then I release it. If an old thought pattern tries to creep in, I acknowledge it, take a deep breath and exhale it. I know it’s just a thought.

I’ve learned the biggest key to manifesting is to pray for the highest good for all, and to be detached from the outcome.

That’s so big, I need to say it again:

The biggest key to manifesting is to pray for the highest good for all, and to be detached from the outcome.

Amen!

Let that steep in for a minute.

I begin and end each day with a 20-minute transcendental meditation. This commitment to stillness is manifested in inspiration, joy, peace, clear focus and creativity. When I live my life from this place, I’m in the flow and don’t have to try as hard — jobs, relationships and opportunities just seem to open up organically for me.

For me, it is a miracle that I am able to practice self love instead of constantly beating myself up with negative thoughts that do not serve me.

That’s what I am committed to everyday. Small acts of self love and care to validate myself. Going to the gym. Writing. Meditation. Prayer. Getting energy work done. Eating food that nourish my body. Making a friend smile and laugh. Creating the space for people to live in their truth.

What small acts of self care and love do you practice daily? I’d love to hear from you! Sending you so much peace and joy! xoxo

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Yesterday, Karissa shared her favorite GLOW tips with us, and I’m so excited to read what Flora is sharing on Monday!

Jump on board this beautiful blog tour, and GLOW with us!

Also, I highly recommend taking advantage of Dana’s FREE 10-Day Get Glowing Adventure – starting February 1st: 10 days of simple + fun daily challenges + inspiration. Hope to see you there! Let’s GLOW!

 

Cheers To A More Mindful New Year: Creating A “To-Be” List

Happy New Year, friends! I hope you had a beautiful holiday, ate delicious food, cuddled with loved ones and were able to rest, relax, recharge and get ready for your best year yet!

I know this can be an overwhelming time of year getting back to reality and staying on top of resolutions. That is why I think today’s blog is perfect because it is all about being rather than doing.

I hope this serves you. Cheers!

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On my To Be List today: Joyful. Shot by Nicole LeBris Creative in Jersey City

We’re all familiar with “To-Do” Lists, and the stress and shame that can come along with doing what we think we should be doing, while rushing around trying to feel accomplished in our busyness. We’ve mastered the art of exhausting ourselves in an effort to feel good enough and worthy of a break, happy hour or vacation—at least I have.

This year, I’m trying something different: I’m creating “To-Be” Lists for myself, with no stress or judgement involved. I’m going at whatever pace feels good, being extremely gentle with myself and focusing on peace and slowing down.

Here is an example of my To-Be List. It has everything to do with how it makes me feel.

Confident
Courageous
Authentic
Vulnerable
Kind

I’m discovering that even if I am feeling angry, for example, if I refer to my list, lean into the qualities I want to embody and act the way I want to feel (confident, courageous, authentic, vulnerable and kind), I end up experiencing just that and my anger is gone.

If you’re having a hard time making your list, ask yourself what qualities make you feel your absolute best. Not the fantasy version of you, but the real you.

The fantasy version of me is adventurous and loves to try extreme sports, climb huge mountains and go camping. But the real me craves quiet time at home by myself to rest, recharge, reflect, read and write.

This is your list, so think about what makes you feel really happy, not others.

Loving, kind, accepting, honest, forgiving, non-judgmental, open, receptive, peaceful, attentive, warm and friendly are some words that come to mind for me.

Another way to come up with your To Be List is to ask yourself, “Who do I need to become to get what I want and deserve in life?”

If I want to attract a loving partner who treats me well, is romantic, thoughtful and kind, then my To Be List would be:

Loving
Romantic
Thoughtful
Kind
Respectful

The key is to treat myself how I would like to treated by my partner. I have struggled with dating men who were emotionally unavailable. It’s only when I realized, I, too, was being emotionally unavailable that I was able to work on and heal my inner wounds, and begin attracting men who were available like me.

Instead of recreating the same relationship over and over again (been there, done that!), by deliberately choosing how and who I want to be, I take back control and power, and let that lead the way, not my wounds and fears. Make sense?

Different days will require different qualities to be added to my list depending on my schedule, and how I am feeling spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Here are 6 proven benefits to creating and (gently) sticking to a To Be List:

1. It helps me slow down, center myself and consider the day ahead. What qualities do I want to embody?

2. I am able to set boundaries. Who or what do I need to say ‘No’ to so I can stay on track?

3. It gives me quiet consideration to reflect. What am I present to? What is coming up for me?

For example: I feel like I should go to that work event, but I don’t really want to. I’m tired, don’t have any more energy to be ‘on’ and desperately need to clean and organize my house and rest. In the past, I may have gone to the event and even had fun, but I would feel depleted and the feeling of abandoning myself and my needs is not self love.

Today, I am committed to practicing self-care and self-love, even if it means disappointing others.

4. I create my own reality and choose how I will be regardless of what my day brings me. How do I want to be at work, home, with friends, co-workers, spouse, etc.?

So even if I experience rejection in my career or personal life, because I have chosen to be joyful, I will remain joyful even when I don’t book the job or my love interest does not call me back like he promised.

5. Taking a more intentional approach to life is empowering. It gives me the opportunity to take my time back, and therefore be more centered, creative and in the flow. I get more done by exerting less effort and feel better doing so.

6. My To Be Lists make me more mindful and self aware. My peace of mind and joy are a top priority, making everything else I do in my life (even those “boring” To Do Lists) more peaceful and joyful as a result.

Write down your To Be List on a piece of paper or in your phone, and take it with you, or refer to it mentally in your mind throughout your day.

Remember, this is a gentle exercise, so no shame or judgement if you don’t stick to your list, forget or need to skip a day. With practice, it will become like second nature, and you will be building a strong spiritual muscle to guide you.

Light & Love,

Kate

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