Real Life Hero: How One Man Saved Lives in America’s Deadliest Mass Shooting

[00:00:01] Todd: You're hearing the gunfire and you're realizing like, what am I doing? I've got kids. I've got a wife. Why am I putting myself into this? You see some act of heroism, and it's some other person running in or running people out, and so you're just, okay, I'm back in the fight, and you keep going.

[00:00:55] We want, as a human nature, to help people. And this is a good world. We just need more warriors to stand back up and realize that it's okay to be vulnerable and show empathy and to shed your strength on someone else.

[00:01:12] Kate: What you're describing, Todd, is good-- overcoming pure evil, and that humanity is really, really good and pure and beautiful at its core. These are the stories that not just change our lives, but change the world.

[00:01:32] Hi. Welcome back to Rawish with Kate Eckman. It's a very special day for me because, lately, and if you've been watching the show, listening to the show, you know that I've been feeling a little down and have been going through some tough times, and I'm not alone in that. I'm sure if you're listening, you're experiencing your own trauma or tragedy and your own joy and good times too.

[00:01:57] But my guest today really has given me so much hope in humanity because I've been feeling a little discouraged and disappointed lately in some things I'm seeing and hearing and experiencing in our world today that have just broken my heart. And when I met my guests today, it's hard to even explain.

[00:02:15] It was the best spa treatment, the best supplement, the best, most nutritious food, workout, or whatever to the soul. And you know, if you know me in this show, that's my jam, anyone who can really touch my heart and soul. This person is a modern-day hero. I don't use that term lightly. He is a true hero.

[00:02:35] He survived and was heroic in the worst mass shooting in the history of the United States, the massacre in Las Vegas back in October of 2017. That event, I was not there. I was nowhere close to it. It destroyed my heart for days. And his story is going to bring you so much hope and so much inspiration on how you can do better in your everyday life.

[00:03:03] Be the hero in your own family, in your own company, in your own neighborhood, in your own country and the world. And we all need this right now, and I can't stress that enough. So without further ado, please welcome to Rawish Todd Blyleven. Thank you so much for being here.

[00:03:18] Todd: Oh, thank you, Kate. I am absolutely honored to be on your show, so thank you for having me.

[00:03:25] Kate: Absolutely. And we have a beautiful mutual friend, Mark Moyer. Thank you, Mark, for the wonderful introduction. And you have such an incredible background. You've done something few people are able to do. You made it to Major League Baseball as a pitcher and following in the footsteps of your all-star Major League Baseball pitcher, father, Bert, and played in the league for so many years.

[00:03:50] Went on to be a scout, now making all sorts of incredible developments in the corporate world. And all of those accolades aside, which I want to talk to, I think what's the most heroic is just who you are as a person and what you stand for humanity. So I'd love if you could just share a little bit about how your background, whether you knew it or not, really prepared you to be such a hero in the world during such a tragic time.

[00:04:18] Todd: Yeah, I appreciate going into that. You're right. I had a very special upbringing. My dad was a Major League Baseball player, and I got a chance to run around with him really up until my high school years. But I was surrounded by a dad that wanted me there, and that was truly special.

[00:04:35] I look back on those days now, how present he was in a time where you have these professional athletes that are always on the road. You're always on the go. You know you are a collegiate athlete. You know the grind. You know how important it is to make sure that you're taking care of yourself.

[00:04:52] And my dad always took time to make sure that I was okay, that I was always with him. So I was traveling all over the country. And what was happening with me growing up is I got an opportunity to be around some of the best athletes in the world when it came to baseball in 1979.

[00:05:07] I'm going to age myself a little bit, but I was a young little kid running around the clubhouse during the World Series Championship run, during the We Are Family team, and being able to sit on the dugout and watch a pastor talk to these men that are getting ready to go into this fifth game of the World Series down three to one in the story of David and Goliath that was told.

[00:05:29] And Willie Stargell gets up and says, "All right, boys. Let's go get Goliath." It was just truly inspirational. But those were my brothers, my uncles, my best friends. They used to let me swing on their arms when I was a kid. So I was out on the baseball field traveling with my dad, learning what defeat was all about, learning the perseverance, the day-to-day grind of how to put things aside, how to celebrate the successes, whether it was a base set up the middle and you score a run or the championship winning a World series.

[00:06:00] So there was always a constant, just emotional pull. And my dad was the type that it was a no blood, no foul mentality growing up in the house. He was a professional athlete. He was tough all the time. So you suppress your emotions; you continue to fight; you continue to step forward in anything that you're doing and try to do it to the best of your ability.

[00:06:23] When I got into high school and started recognizing that I wanted to do this as a profession, I was pretty good as an athlete. So I started working on my craft, started working on myself. But everything was on a tough, tough, high elite level, as you know, being a swimmer. Again, just the grind that you go through. There were times where I was pulled emotionally on what I really wanted to do in life.

[00:06:48] Did I really want to be a baseball player and put in all this effort? Did I want to go and do what my friends were doing and live the normal life? So I didn't really have anybody to talk to. We didn't talk about that stuff in the house. So I wasn't raised to share what I'm sharing today. I wasn't raised to be as vulnerable and open and empathetic as what I am today.

[00:07:12] So I got a chance to play professional baseball. When I got done playing, I went through probably the biggest kind of kick in the pants, knocked down moments. Back then in my life, where I didn't know what I was supposed to do for the rest of my life, I was 26 years old. I'm getting out.

[00:07:28] I want to be in the real world, but yet what am I supposed to do? So I went through a lot of different life changes. I think a lot of people can relate to that. You change jobs. You think one thing and the next thing you know, you're on this different path trying to just be the best version of yourself and you're wanting to make money for yourself, wanting to maybe start a family and all these things are happening.

[00:07:50] And nothing was really going right for me until I went back into baseball. So I found that comfort of learning all about baseball operations. I became a major league baseball scout, and then that led into going into the corporate world of sports. And so along the way, again, I had all these inspirational people that opened up doors to me that were super powerful, allowing me to learn from them.

[00:08:15] And thank God to YouTube University for learning a lot of my skill sets when it came to the technical side. But it was a constant grind. And I think all the way up until Las Vegas in 2017, I was always, and had always been fighting to try to just learn more about myself and what that whole definition of success has meant for us as individuals, as people.

[00:08:40] I relied on my faith, but I wasn't a scripture reader. I didn't study the Bible. I reached for the book when I was in a time of need, when I was knocked down, sitting in a Motel 6, in a Waffle House on the outside. And I'm like, "What am I doing playing baseball again or whatever else?"

[00:08:59] So there are always these moments, I think God put in front of me to learn more about myself. But one thing, my dad was always a very kind man. I was raised in a nice, kind house. We always gave back to communities. We were always standing up for others. Very tight-knit family. So I learned a lot of that loyalty, the perseverance, the strength.

[00:09:24] I had two grandfathers. One was a career Marine. The other one was career Navy. And both of those gentlemen, sculpted me to dig foxholes and want to either be a marine or an officer or a first responder. I was going to go play baseball. So that's my upbringing and where I was. But yeah, I'm truly grateful for all of those that ever stepped in to help me just achieve something in my life that put a smile on me.

[00:09:53] Kate: Thank you for sharing that, Todd. Something that you said that stood out, and it's even the first line in my trailer to Rawish, which is "What's something you don't normally talk about?" And you shared that we weren't really talking about feelings in our home. And I know that you're not alone and we're in that age group where-- and that's how our parents were raised.

[00:10:15] And especially men, we don't talk about our feelings. I come from a family too. We just sweep everything under the rug. We don't really talk about that stuff. And I see the damage that that causes and families and companies and society. And it really is my mission to start not just talking about feelings, but feeling our feelings and knowing that they are our guides.

[00:10:39] They are our superpowers. They are this incredible information to help us. And yet we numb them. We suppress them. We don't want to think about them. And just the harm that that causes ourselves and others, and our relationships can destroy them. And how painful it is. Even if things are going great, you want to like feel those incredible feelings and share them with somebody else.

[00:11:03] And then you and I, sadly, have been a part of some really serious tragedies personally and also culturally and in the world. And so I appreciate you first exploring that, especially when you weren't raised that way. And then I'd love if you could share how being in touch with your feelings has made you a better man.

[00:11:25] And really, I think, was that superhero power and strength and courage that was needed during your scariest moment in your life? Can you take us back to October, 1st, 2017 where you think you're going to this incredible music festival, you are with a bunch of friends and family? It's hard for me to even think about that event.

[00:11:50] It completely took me out, and I was working in television at the time, and I said to a colleague, "It feels so dumb to go on television right now and talk about beauty products. Who freaking cares?" And she said, "People want to be entertained, or they want to think about something else."

[00:12:07] But that just shows me I'm so glad where I am now because I love beauty products. But I really am on a mission to change consciousness and change the world. And we do it by the feelings, but then also diving into what's really happening during some of these events. So can you take us back to that moment?

[00:12:25] Todd: Yeah, certainly. So we went into this event. This had been our third time going back, so we were at the venue for the third year in a row. And we felt comfortable. Vegas was always a place where we went to escape reality. I think that's probably, very similar to what most people go there for, to put our hair down, cut loose a little bit, and have some fun.

[00:12:50] And Vegas police department, Vegas Metro, the first responders, the organization, the country fest, the employees, everybody did an amazing job to keep everybody feeling safe, to feel the love. So here we are, the last night of this three-day country fest.

[00:13:09] I'm a big country guy. I love country music. And what was interesting about this particular night was, for the two years prior, on every single one of those nights, the ladies in our group would always go up to the stage. We're always pretty close to the stage anyways. But when the last performer would come up, they would get right up on the rail and the guys would hang back about 10 feet and we'd drink our bears or whatever and just hang out and watch the show.

[00:13:35] On this particular night, we decided to stay back about 20 feet beyond that and not for the first time, go up to the rail, which, thank God, somebody was watching over us because if we had done that, then one of our 18 members probably would've been, if not more, seriously injured. So there was this love in the air.

[00:13:58] We're dancing. We're enjoying the music. You could just feel it. The younger people that were with us, they call us aunt and uncle. They're our nieces and nephews. It was just so much love. They're swarming around me as I'm dancing with one of my nieces that I called her. And they're swarming around with their cameras, and it was just super amazing.

[00:14:20] And all of a sudden you hear these popping sounds. And so at first when you hear something like that, you instantly are looking around in a vigilant way to try to figure out, all right, is there something going on? What's up? And there happened to always be three officers sitting off to our right side in front of the VIP tent area, and they were still there.

[00:14:41] So you're feeling, okay, we're good. Keep going, proceed, nothing to be alarmed about. And then all of a sudden, the machine gun fire started. And I'll tell you, Kate, when you hear something like that, for me, I automatically thought there was something going on on the outside on Vegas strip, somebody shooting something.

[00:15:03] But we're okay because there's a seven-foot retainer wall. They would literally have to leap over the wall to try to do damage. So you're going through all these quick response thinking about, where am I? Am I okay? Are we okay? Yes, we're fine.

[00:15:20] Everything's okay. All right. It's an isolated situation. I hope police act fast to go get that individual or what's going on. I hope people on the other side of that wall are okay. Little did we know that people in front of us were getting hit by bullets.

[00:15:35] And so when the lights went out and Jason Aldean started running off the stage, that's when I knew right off the bat, okay, we're in trouble. So you tell everybody to get down, and then when the second round of machine gun fire started, I saw the muzzle flash from up above, realizing that we're in a stuck situation here where we're getting fired at now. Two people around us got hit. So you tell everybody to get up; you pull people up and you run.

[00:16:02] And I think the transformation for where my life ultimately changed forever was in that run, as I was running as big as I possibly could to try to protect those in front of me, not knowing if when my boot lifted from the ground, it was going to hit, and I was going to feel it. I didn't know if each time that I lifted my leg, it was going to be the last moment that I would be here on earth.

[00:16:29] And so we ended up running and got to an exit point on the east side of the venue called Giles Street. We made it. I got everybody out very quickly. We're talking seconds. And I think this is where my path with what God wanted me to do in this moment, we decided that we were going to keep running north.

[00:16:49] And I saw a man coming out carrying a woman that had been injured, shot. By the time I got to her, and we laid her down, she was gone. And there was something about her touch, her innocence that just forced me to realize that I need to go back. That people were going to be injured and I couldn't live with myself if I decided to keep running. I was strong and big. There's something I could do. So I ran over; I kissed my wife. I told her I loved her, and I watched them run off away from the danger, and I ran back in.

[00:17:25] Kate: Wow.

[00:17:25] Todd: At first, I was going against the grain. I ran in, I picked up a woman super fast, brought her out. There were three women on Giles Street, next to a squad car that had been injured along with an officer or security guard.

[00:17:39] So there were four people. I ran. As I started to go back in, all these inspiring things started to happen. There were about 20 people coming out. A blonde-haired nurse comes out, grabs me by the shoulder, says, "What can I do to help? I'm a trauma nurse." I said, "Ma'am, you can put your hands on those people there."

[00:17:59] Next thing I know, that woman, by the end of this eight-hour journey, ended up building three triage centers on Giles Street. Probably saved hundreds of lives. True inspiration. I got a chance to meet her after all of this. And we're still connected. Amazing individual, but she went against the grain.

[00:18:21] I'm running in, she stops me. And then she just took it and went from there. And so what I did was I knew that because of-- I didn't have a first responder background. What I was going to do is I was going to search for injured victims and I was going to carry them out and bring them to safety. And Giles Street, in that squad car, that was my goal line.

[00:18:43] And so I did that back and forth over and over throughout that probably next two hours. During the shooting, I went in and out, was shot at multiple times, and I would go in. I'd see someone struggling. At one point, there were two women dragging one of their friends out, and they recall me coming in around this Budweiser booth, identifying, seeing them.

[00:19:11] I ran over, I picked up. Their friend threw her over my shoulder, which was what I was doing, and then I just started running. And I got them into a vehicle and they took off for the hospital. Unfortunately, she lost her life later on on an operating table with people trying to save her. I lost three women in my arms at night there on Giles Street and two more in the hospital.

[00:19:38] But there were a lot that made it. The inspirational side to all of that was that each time I would see something absolutely dark and demonic and just scary, and you're hearing the gunfire and you're realizing like, what am I doing? I've got kids. I've got a wife. I've got friends. Why am I putting myself into this?

[00:20:02] You see some act of heroism just stream across your kind of screen here where you're saying, "Oh my God, there he goes." And it's some other person running in or running people out, and so you're just, okay, I'm back in the fight, and you keep going. And it was this constant just up and down emotions. I call it a Molotov cocktail of emotions on how you felt.

[00:20:28] I brought a woman out and she was very light in stature, and she reminded me of a relative of mine. And so there I am on one knee, and she takes her last breath.

[00:20:40] Kate: Oh, Todd.

[00:20:41] Todd: This is my 13th second memory that I have every day in my life. A gentleman comes over and says, "Sir, she's gone." I said, " Yeah, I don't know who she is." And I laid her down with grace, and I'm standing up and I'm looking at her, I'm looking at my boots, and all of a sudden there's this guy, it's like, where are we going next?

[00:21:06] And I'm like, "Who are you?" And he goes, "Brother, we're with you. You're bringing them out, and we're fixing them up." Ended up being an off-duty EMT. I had a fire captain from San Francisco, a Marine that was with me. And then I realized that I'm not alone. And so the aftermath of that whole incident there, I realized that that woman didn't die on the turf by herself.

[00:21:32] She died with somebody holding her with love, trying to help her, and trying to save her life. And that's all we tried to do that night, was trying to get as many people out as we possibly could with the strength and the honor that we had in that moment of absolute craziness and terror to just try to give somebody the chance to live.

[00:21:54] And it didn't matter on what color you were, who you were, what you look like, man, woman, religion. It didn't matter. You just needed help, and we were there to try to do that and keep people safe. At the end of the night, this lasted about eight hours. We thought we were under attack. It was 22,000 people scattered throughout all Las Vegas.

[00:22:15] I was over in Tropicana. We were searching for a shooter. We were told there was a shooter inside the building, so there was about seven of us that were barreling down doors. I ended up being rekindled with one of the people that was with us that night. She was with a group of about 20 people that were hiding in a refrigerated room in the back entrance of Tropicana.

[00:22:36] So here I go. I'm barreling through this door trying to maybe-- first instinct, okay, we're going to tackle the shooter if he's inside this room. And you hear this, "Todd." And she runs out and she jumps on me. And it was the most amazing just being reunited. She was alive. And so I was able to get her to an ambulance because there was ambulance.

[00:22:59] This is where first responders were staged in the backside of Tropicana. And I finally got her in the ambulance. And then right away there's a man with a knife at the end of the hallway wielding the knife around. So now you're running down this hallway wishing I had a baseball in my hand.

[00:23:15] To be honest, that was a one of my thoughts. I was like, "I wish I had a baseball." Here I am though. I'm running down this hallway, and I'm coming up on this man. And I'm like, "Are you good guy, bad guy, good guy, bad?" And I caught his attention just enough to where I was able to disarm the knife, tackle the man, get him okay, and he is just a scared individual freaking out that everybody was after him.

[00:23:38] And you're in Las Vegas, so he was drinking, all these things. And at the end of the night, it was about 6:30 in the morning or 6 o'clock in the morning, two SWAT officers came up to me after seeing everything on my side. I was covered in stuff from carrying so many people out. and they put their hands on my shoulder and said, "Sorry, you can stand down."

[00:23:57] And at that time, Kate, I dropped. The ground never fell so connected. I was lost. I couldn't even imagine. I couldn't think about what I had just done, the people that I just lost, what just happened. This is absolutely crazy. And I had so many people in that moment come over and lift me up. Their hands were on me. They didn't want to see me knocked down, so they had me stand up. And the hugs and the embrace of-- there were hundreds of people in that room. And it wasn't just me because there were other individuals with me that we were helping just keep everybody safe in that moment.

[00:24:38] But it was absolutely amazing. I think about that night, and I've been contacted by so many people through find Your Hero page that was dedicated to people, trying to find people that helped, get your friend out or carried you out in Las Vegas. And the stories that people told of what they saw me do, it's unfathomable.

[00:25:02] I can't even imagine that I did those things. But I think it has a lot to do with how I was raised. I think that no stopping mentality, the perseverance, just the knowing that if I were to fall, I'm going to fall with honor and with pride knowing that I helped someone else that was in need.

[00:25:28] And put yourself last and others in front of you, and the whole servant mentality and just the strength that I had to make sure that someone else was staying strong. And the more reflection I had on that, the more I started realizing that every time I went in to pick somebody up, if they were conscious, they were grabbing me too.

[00:25:52] It wasn't just me grabbing them. I was carrying them out, and you could feel they're grabbing onto my shirt. They're holding me tight. And it was like, okay, I have you. You have me. Now let's go. And you're becoming one. And it was absolutely amazing.

[00:26:11] And I pray to God, nobody ever has to feel that, but through me, I feel it's my responsibility now to try to shed that love and open up those hearts and allow people to understand that when we're knocked down in our lives, and it doesn't have to be in a shooting, we can grab onto somebody, and somebody wants to grab onto you.

[00:26:32] And we want, as a human nature, to help people. And this is a good world. There are so many good people out there. We just need more warriors to stand back up and realize that it's okay to raise your hand and to be vulnerable and show empathy and to shed your strength on someone else in a really loving way and help that person that is down.

[00:26:57] So that night taught me so much about myself. They always say like, the grass is greener, the butterflies are more beautiful. They really are. I would see butterflies every once in a while and I'd just be like, "That's an angel." Or just how beautiful it really is. So it reshaped my existence and reset my outlook on life and what we're supposed to be doing here on earth.

[00:27:22] Kate: Wow. Thank you for all of that. And I'm deeply impacted. You've answered so many of my questions in that, and thank you for talking like that too, because I wasn't able to speak there for a while, so thank you. What you're describing, Todd, is good-- overcoming pure evil, and that humanity is really, really good and pure and beautiful at its core.

[00:27:50] And in this day and age, I personally feel like I'm seeing less and less of that and more and more of the evil. And it hurts my heart a lot. It's also the inspiration behind all the work that I'm doing.

[00:28:04] Todd: Yeah.

[00:28:05] Kate: I think that's why these conversations are not just important, but vital. And hearing these stories is vital. These are the stories and the conversations in moments in time that not just change our lives, but change the world. And there's a saying that says, I'm crazy enough to think that I can change the world. I don't believe that anymore.

[00:28:29] I now know, and I'm confident enough to believe that I can change the world because I've changed myself and because I'm having this conversation with you right now. And you did and are changing the world. And rather than letting that demonic, traumatic event destroy you, or you could have gone down a much, much different path, both in that moment and in the aftermath, and who you chose to be in that moment and who you choose to be now and going forward, it's miraculous.

[00:29:05] It's a miracle. And this is why I call you a hero. And I just wish everybody could have just a little piece of your strength and courage and heart. How would you even describe the force that took over, not just in that moment, but has carried you through, even recovering from such an event?

[00:29:26] Todd: First of all, I love that you share your emotions. I love that you're so raw, no pun intended, with your podcast name. But you are, and it's beautiful because that's how we should wake up. That's how we enjoy where we're at in the moment. You got to feel the hurt sometimes in order to really appreciate the good and the strong.

[00:29:53] And it's how we grow as individuals. So thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I think, again, when I got home from that horrible night, I got reached out to by a number of friends. A combat veteran that was a friend of my dad's gave me a 72-hour survival guide of what I was going to experience.

[00:30:15] Okay, I've been there. Relatable experience. Your speech is going to be stuttered. You're going to have headaches. You're going to have nightmares. You're going to have all this anxiety. This is what's going to happen. You're going to be irritable. You're going to be questioning what you did, why you did these things.

[00:30:29] And so he was spot on. For the next 72 hours, that's exactly what I had experienced. I couldn't figure out the stuttering. I couldn't gather my thoughts. It was driving me crazy. But Lee was there for me in that moment. So was so many of my other friends that came out and started sharing their stories that I had never known about them before.

[00:30:53] So all of a sudden now we're talking about trauma and these really tough individuals, my best man in my wedding is telling me stories about why he can't listen to a certain song anymore after a call that he went on. He was a law enforcement officer. And the things that he would see, never told me any of that.

[00:31:12] He was always happy, go lucky on the outside, but on the inside, tore up in certain aspects of where his boots took him. And so all of a sudden, you're having these real-life conversations, and it allowed me to understand that after so many nightmares and being knocked down so many times, that I was okay if I raise my hand and I say, "Okay, I need help. I can't do this on my own. I tried fighting it. I can't do it on my own."

[00:31:44] I know that I wasn't alone spiritually. I know that I'm a big faith believer. I know that God and Jesus was with me. I know that my mighty angels were with me that night. There's no way, no way, I was in good shape, but not in that kind of shape. I was strong, but not that strong to pick up over 30 people and carry them in and out while running with boots on, and then to sit there in the line of fire during a shooting going on and bullets ricocheting around me and wave 150-plus people around to a safety net because they didn't know it was there. And put my own self there? How does a bullet not hit me?

[00:32:29] So there was definitely a higher power I felt in that, and that higher power has been with me ever since. And it's allowed me to bow my chest up and pin my shoulders back and take on new adversities in my life and the strength. I've also done a lot of hard work to try to learn more about myself, recognizing my trauma and how that affects me personally, how it pulls on me emotionally, how it makes me feel.

[00:32:58] If I go into a big room filled with people, I know I'm going to have some anxiety. I know that my speech is going to be a little stuttered because I'm trying to learn, okay, the environment. I'm trying to just make sure I'm safe. I'm putting myself into this safe spot.

[00:33:14] And that takes time to learn. It's not something you learn overnight. I was really blessed to have found a good therapist. I tried a couple times. I kept this perseverance maybe because that's the way I was raised is. You get knocked down, you stand back up, and you keep going.

[00:33:31] And maybe that was the athlete side of me, but I found an amazing woman. Her name is Diane, out of Plano, Texas. She doesn't like to be recognized, but she was my rock. And I went through about a year and a half of EMDR therapy that really allowed me to lower the drawbridge of every little trauma.

[00:33:51] We broke it down into minutes. Where did my boots take me minute by minute? And let's talk about it. Let's process that. That was also an educational part for me where I'm feeling these emotions, like I did earlier out here on your show, or you. And you cry about it. And I realized like, man, that's okay.

[00:34:13] I'm tough. Nobody's ever going to say that I'm not tough. We're all tough. We survived COVID. We survived all these things in our life. You're tough. You don't have to wear it all on your sleeve. You can just wear it right here. And if we can just wear it right here and keep standing up for ourselves, we're going to be able to stand up for others too when we recognize that they're knocked down.

[00:34:36] And so it's been a journey just to reshape in my life to learn more about my inner feelings and how I can continue to get out and help people that have experienced trauma or just having a bad day.

[00:34:51] Kate: Thank you so much for talking about feelings, trauma, PTSD, therapy, and we're associating sheer heroics with those words. And you're a hero when you go to therapy, when you deal with your PTSD and acknowledge it, when you talk about your feelings, when you cry. These things are synonymous with being a hero.

[00:35:16] And I know still, even in this day, kids aren't really taught that, especially little boys. But if we can start showing them that crying is tough and heroic, and going to therapy is tough and heroic, and working on yourself and being there for others, and in that moment, caring more about humanity than you did your own life.

[00:35:37] And it's just such a shining example that I just want to share your story every day to someone. And thank you for having the courage to now talk about it publicly all over the world because it is changing our consciousness and how we see things. And can you imagine the world if this is what we taught our children and the gift that we gave to ourselves.

[00:35:59] And I've been having discussions, even this week, about why is everybody not in therapy or feeling their feelings or talking about these things and doing it? Because it's essential as sleeping, eating healthy food, exercise. It's that important. And yet, there's still with some this stigma around it. And the people who need therapy the most, thinking they don't need it, the damage that they're causing, not just to themselves, but to others.

[00:36:27] And for you, that you were able to save lives in that moment and even kept yourself alive was because of who you chose to be, not just in that moment, but up until that moment and equipping yourself with these emotional tools. And I can't wait, Todd, for the day that this is the mainstream conversation that we're having, that this is on mainstream media and we're sharing this, not just the horror of the massacre, but what happened in the moment with people like you and then afterwards you didn't become a heroin addict, which would've made sense.

[00:37:05] You went and got help and then are able to share this message. So bravo to you, and thank you for being such an example of strength and courage and what it really means to be a man and an American and a hero.

[00:37:19] Todd: Thank you, Kate. I don't refer to myself as a hero. I think I was just in a place where I was really honored and happy that I was able to help people in need. And you bring up a good point. Part of my therapy, I got into writing poetry, believe it or not. So here you go.

[00:37:40] Now I'm touching my just more softer side, but it's amazing. And so I've written a lot of poems for first responders, for combat vets, for trauma itself. I've written poems from that night. I've written a couple country songs.

[00:37:55] But one poem in particular that I wrote is called Beast in Peace. And it's all about the beast that's inside of us every single day, like you just described, how we have to fight all of this by ourself. And we're so afraid to let the peace side come in and allow us to take a breath, to control our emotions, to control our irritability, to know that we're not alone, and let that peace side take over and maybe navigate us in a way that we're generally not used to walking down, by showing emotions, by showing empathy, by saying thank you to somebody for holding the door open for you.

[00:38:36] Or maybe your server at your next restaurant is just having a bad day and you're blaming them for being lazy. Maybe there's something going on there. But that beast is always in us and is always wanting to roar and do things in an aggressive way.

[00:38:53] And so it's the relationship between the beast and the peace. And in the end, the beast lets the peace come in. And all of a sudden, the beast transforms and says, "Hey, you know what? I'm different. I'm not just a beast anymore, but I'm a beast that walks with peace." And the beast grows and becomes ultra strong, and now becomes a better version of themselves.

[00:39:14] And I just think that we need to allow the peace side of our inner beings and more ask for help. Go to therapy. Do meditation. Work on your breathing techniques. Slow your life down every once in a while. Identify your trauma. Learn to live with it. Learn your coping skills so you can be happy in your life. And if you see someone struggling, don't ever, ever be afraid to ask if they need help.

[00:39:42] Kate: Thank you for saying that. What gentle words of encouragement could you please offer to people who say, well, I haven't been through something that traumatic? But we've all been through trauma in our lives that the art of being born is a traumatic experience alone.

[00:39:58] So just for some people I know and love are coming to mind that are a little resistant to asking for help, to admitting that they're struggling, to saying, I'm fine when they're devastated, what can you say to those? It's a lot of men. But what can you say to those people who maybe are resistant to therapy and asking for help and deeply feeling the depths of their pain and trauma?

[00:40:24] Todd: You are not alone, number one. You are not alone, and don't think that you're isolated in your own trauma or your own fight to just try to be yourself. When you recognize that some of the toughest people in this world, and I talk to tough, tough individuals all the time, that we're able to raise our hand and say, "Hey, I need to be able to go into therapy. I need to find somebody that I can speak with that has a relatable experience as what I have so I can let this beast out and let the peace side come in."

[00:41:00] You have to be able to do that. If you want to live with love and honor and be the strong individual that you think you are today, wait until all of a sudden you open this up. And I talk about sports all the time. I talk about sports technology. I love what I do on the job side. But the minute that you start talking about feelings with anybody, no matter where you're at, it opens up a greater conversation.

[00:41:29] People start relating to you. And all of a sudden there's just this really warm feeling that overtakes everything, and you realize that I just met you, but we are literally sharing things with each other that I probably haven't shared with my own family. It just opens up doors to conversation.

[00:41:51] So just know that you're not alone in this. Know that it's actually weak to not ask for help. It's a sign of strength to ask for help. It's a sign of strength to know that you're hurting inside and identify your own weakness. You're an athlete. What did you do when you were injured? You went to the training room to get help.

[00:42:12] If my shoulders hurt, I'm going to go to rehab. I'm going to try to rehab that thing so I can get it mobile again, so I can pitch again, so I can go out and do what I love. If my insides, my backstage, whatever that is that you're thinking about is all messed up, go in and fix it so you can go and take your next step with love and strength in your life. Just know you're not alone.

[00:42:35] Kate: You are not alone. And sometimes when we take these steps, heroic or otherwise, to really feel our feelings and to do the work that we're called to do for a higher purpose, in my case, helping humanity heal and evolve one conversation at a time, you meet the people who become instant family and friends, like yourself.

[00:43:00] Case in point right here, I feel more connected to you than I do family members, than I do friends I've known my whole life. And that's no diss to them or the quality of my relationships with them. It's that when you are daring enough to do something, like go there with your feelings and your trauma and with your work, God, spirit, universe, the world, whatever you want to call it, aligns all of us.

[00:43:25] You and I are so in alignment because we're going to help each other on our missions and we're going to tell these stories and talk about these topics. And maybe this isn't the hot, cool, trendy thing to talk about at the moment or ever, but this is how we heal humanity and doing it together. And I want this gift for everyone.

[00:43:45] I want everyone to be able to connect in this way with another human, hopefully with your spouse and your children and your parents, first and foremost, but first with yourself. And then it doesn't matter the name of the relationship. It's being able to do this. I have never felt more wealthy. I've never felt more cared for and held and lit up.

[00:44:10] I'm sobbing and lit up at the same time because I'm so present with myself and with another person in a world that is so disconnected and there is so much hate, Todd. I'm like, "How did we even get to this place?" I know the world has never been perfect, but I'm like, "Can we go back to the '80s and '90s?"

[00:44:31] And I know I was a kid and probably shielded from a lot of the evil, but come on, guys. So I appreciate you reminding us of the goodness that lives within everybody or most everybody. Some people just have really lost their way, sadly and tragically.

[00:44:52] But what do you want to say to people who, besides that are just struggling, and they're probably not listening to this show, but maybe they're on board with this message and living their lives this way, but they have some people in their lives who are just not on board with this messaging or this level of consciousness? How do you manage or interact people who maybe aren't in alignment with this way of thinking or living?

[00:45:18] Todd: I think it's just taking one step at a time. We can't move the mountain, but we can start removing the rocks. We can climb one step up each day. Take it slow. Know what you can do. Don't bring anxiety on yourself that you don't need in your life. Always trust the good.

[00:45:39] I wake up in the morning. I fold my sheets on my bed, and I say a prayer, and I just pray that this world is a better place. I pray for more love in this world. I pray for more peace. I pray for the world. I don't pray for me. I don't ask for things for me. God will take care of me. I will take care of myself with my own perseverance and my own hard work.

[00:46:03] But I pray for this world that it's a better place for my kids, it's a better place for you that you can start to feel the good. I don't want you feeling bad. So what can we do to help each other? Hold a door open every once in a while. If you have someone that's just not seeing it, that's running through life, taking advantage of everything, and maybe you can see the hurt inside them, but they're afraid to ask for help, try to introduce them to somebody that has had a relatable experience.

[00:46:34] Because even it's tough to talk to your wife or your husband or sometimes your best friend when they don't really know what you're feeling. You want to be there for each other, but try to find somebody that's relatable. I do that all the time now. I'm a connector.

[00:46:49] I was down in Corpus Christi talking at a first responder conference, and a gentleman I spoke to has a son that was an eight-year veteran in the Marine Corps, and he is got combat PTSD. And so this gentleman's never been in combat, although he was the first responder, has seen crazy stuff, but he's having a hard time relating to his son.

[00:47:09] So I connected him with another combat veteran that was also struggling, but found some guidance through some therapy and some other means to be able to allow him to walk tall. Now these two are connected. This person's learning from the other person because there's a trust factor there, first.

[00:47:29] The other person has established an authoritative or a relatable figure, and now this person's not afraid to guide. So you have to establish a trust. You have to establish some relatable experience that person might be struggling with, and you have to be able to be open enough to guide someone else to be able to allow them to stand tall.

[00:47:50] And I think we're so afraid to just offer our assistance to people. We're so afraid to just be human. And why? We're all tough people. We've all experienced loss and happiness and sadness and love. So don't be afraid. Just go out and ask someone if they need some help, especially your loved ones and those around you.

[00:48:14] Don't be afraid to have those hard conversations because I guarantee you, when you start talking about it, they're going to be like, "Oh my gosh, Kate. I can't believe you just brought that up. I've been wanting to talk to you about it."

[00:48:23] Kate: Hmm.

[00:48:25] Todd: So that's been working for me. Every time I get an opportunity to speak to people who are on stage, I pray to God that I am speaking through his tongue with love and just empathy and strength because there is strength there. And everything I've done in my life, like I mentioned, nobody's ever going to say that I'm not tough, and that's okay.

[00:48:46] I don't need the tough badge. I just want the good badge. I want to be a good. I want to be a role model, a mentor for people. Life is too hard, and so we need to just slow it down and just embrace it and just keep a smile on our face.

[00:49:06] Kate: It's so special and refreshing to meet someone who is so in alignment with their message. All the words are just written all over your face and body. You are one with your message and what you're saying, and it's really, really special because I don't experience it all the time or every day.

[00:49:28] And I honor you for the work that you have done because I can feel it. And my heart and soul is so soothed in your presence and in your story because it matches. You are who you say you are. And you don't even say you're anybody but Todd. And so I would just want to send this to every human on the planet and have everyone listen to this episode again and again as just such an example of a way of being that will literally attract in all of your heart's desires.

[00:50:02] There's such an emphasis in our culture on make the money and the status and all of those things. And I think you get there. I think you get to have and achieve every desire by becoming the person who feels worthy and deserving of those desires. They just occur naturally like miracles because you're just so in alignment.

[00:50:24] I always talk about fine tuning your instrument before you can play it for the world. And your instrument is so fine tuned. You're winning all the Grammys. Never heard anything like that before. And so I just want everyone to see that doing the work works and it might be challenging at times, but I think that you can attest that it's really the gift of a lifetime to go on this self-exploration and discover who we are and what we're made of and then offer that beautiful gift to the world.

[00:51:02] Todd: That's so well said. I don't have an agenda here. It's just raw. When I get up and talk, I have a beginning and I have an end. In the middle, I just speak. And you just speak from the heart. And there's not enough men doing that. We know this. Women, you all have it dialed in, in touch with the heart for the most part. It's great.

[00:51:30] And I think more men need to be able to stand up and just realize that it's okay to show your emotion, to be able to not just combat everything with irritability and anger. And you have to be strong all the time. We can't raise our kids this way anymore. We can't be this way in our society anymore.

[00:51:50] The whole political landscape of everything, it's just divided everybody. And we just have to realize that you are a human being. I'm a human being. We're in this together. We're all trying to be the best people we possibly can. So just let's lead with love because at the end, love always wins.

[00:52:06] Kate: What would you say to somebody that you love very much, who is resistant to doing the work, and you see that it's causing harm in their lives and their loved ones' lives? Because sometimes I just get to my wit's end, Todd, and I know we don't move the needle by shoulding anybody or screaming at them or shaming them. How does Todd do it to hopefully inspire true change and growth by offering advice or offering solutions? Or do you just simply lead by example?

[00:52:47] Todd: I think a lot of it is leading by example. I think a lot of it is showing how you have changed or evolved as a human being in your own happiness. I think it's not being afraid to share your feelings on how you want to live your life. And at the end of the day, if that person isn't wanting to change, you sometimes have to be able to understand that not everything is going to change.

[00:53:18] But I think, again, going back to, for me, I see life through a different lens. I've seen the worst, and it haunts me every day. But you wake up and you bow your chest up and pin your shoulders back and tackle with what you have and just do your best.

[00:53:38] So I think if we can just allow ourselves to be more open and vulnerable and lead with good example, then we will win in the end. And those that want that life, those that want to feel good, those that want to be around us are going to be with us. And you can't win every battle, unfortunately.

[00:54:06] If something's just completely pulling you down all the time and making you not feel good about yourself, or not feel good about this world and giving you anxiety, then sometimes you just have to be able to let that go. And maybe in the end you can only pray that that individual or that group of people is going to see what you have and walk that and come back to you.

[00:54:29] But you can't stop your own being from enjoying your life. We only get one here. That's the other part. I think we try to please way too many people and you got to be able to please yourself. You got to be able to be happy with yourself. That's my outlook on it.

[00:54:46] Kate: Mm. You can't win every battle.

[00:54:50] Todd: You can't win every battle. And when you do lose or when it's time to cut that string, you got to be able to just walk and know it's going to be tough. They're going to be okay. They're survivors. They're going to battle their way, but you've got to be able to be happy in your life.

[00:55:08] Kate: There's so much freedom in that statement. It sounds like a loss, but that's a win.

[00:55:15] Todd: 100%.

[00:55:15] Kate: Yeah, and you can't please everybody. And I'm learning with my work and true art is that not everybody's going to like it or get it or support it. And that's how you know you're really onto something. And I can't imagine anyone not loving and supporting and being obsessed with you, but it's neither here nor there because you don't need it. I would just love to hear, you've said so much, but just a high-level takeaway lesson gift that came from this tragedy and this act of bravery and kindness and love for all.

[00:55:53] Todd: When I got back home and my daughter, a couple of nights afterwards, looked at me in bed, and I was tucking her in, she said, "Daddy, how can I trust this world? There's so many bad people." And I said, "No, baby girl. There's so many good people in this room." And I think you just have to continue to rely on that.

[00:56:15] Continue to believe in the good. Take care of yourself. Make sure that every single day when you wake up, you're just happy. Put a smile on your face somehow, some way. Bow your chest up. Pin your shoulders back, raise your chin. Tackle the world the way you want to tackle it. It doesn't matter what anybody else says or does or anything else because they're not you.

[00:56:39] Quit living for someone else. Be yourself. Be happy. Do what you want. You want to go for a walk? Go for a walk. Yes, we have to work. We have to go make money for ourselves, to eat, and all these societal things. Do all those things, but do them the way you want to do them. If someone's holding you back, let it go.

[00:57:00] I firmly believe that love wins. I firmly believe that we always have to move forward. You always have to learn more about yourself every single day and live with the trauma that we have. And don't try to just bury it behind you. Learn how to live with it. Know that everything's going to be okay. Believe it. Believe in the good, and it will be. You can't control everybody.

[00:57:26] Kate: Mm. The world is filled with good people. I want to write that down. And when my brain goes to another place or where your daughter was in that moment, because we've all felt that, especially recently, to remind myself and say out loud and put back into my conscious and subconscious, the world is filled with good people, and I am one of those good people, and I am powerful.

[00:57:52] And if I forget, I will call Todd and Todd will remind me. And I want everyone right now to think of their Todd. And whoever just came to mind is it, and I want you to please write that down, what I just said, and please call or text or email your Todd or Todds, and let's keep this going and keep this circle and chain of goodness going. Speaking of good people, I'm so curious what you would say to the October 1st, 2017 version of Todd today?

[00:58:28] Todd: Man, you have taken life just way too hard. You've tried to define success way too much. You've put too many eggs into so many different baskets. You've not appreciated what was sitting right in front of you. Life didn't have to be that hard, and you need to just let it all go.

[00:58:47] Kate: But you're also very proud of him.

[00:58:49] Todd: I'm very proud of him. If he wasn't the way he was, then maybe I wouldn't have been able to be here today. Maybe people that I saved wouldn't have been here. In fact, I know they wouldn't have. I think the beast that was there that night was able to roar, was able to keep going, and it was the peace side in the end that got me to where I am today.

[00:59:17] Kate: Thank you. Anything else that the beast or the peace feels called to say right now?

[00:59:23] Todd: I really appreciate you and what you're doing, and I love your show. Thank you for having me on. I think we're all just going to be okay. No matter what the outcome is, I think we're all going to be okay.

[00:59:38] Kate: And I think even better than okay. When you can have a conversation like this, for me, I feel like I don't really need that much else. I want to have stuff to brush my teeth and wash my face and some clothes to wear, some good food to eat. But I can have conversations like this, like, yeah, we can change the world.

[01:00:02] Todd: That's right.

[01:00:04] Kate: We are changing the world. And whoever's listening or watching whatever your art is-- for me, it's the art of conversation, courageous conversations. So what is your art, and what do you love? What lights you up? What soothes your heart and soul? Let's do more of that, please.

[01:00:23] And when you get taken out or triggered, or you start looking the wrong way and comparing or judging or thinking the world is filled with evil people, I want you to come back to center and take a deep breath and remember that the world is filled with good people and we are powerful and we are artists. And what's your art? What's your art? I'd love to see it. And let's do more of our art.

[01:00:51] Todd: I love it. I absolutely love it. And we're strong individuals. Rely on the strength. Walk with love. And it's so amazing. It really is, Kate. When you really think about, we don't know each other, and to be able to just have these very raw emotional conversations, the person that's listening on the other end, hopefully it has absolutely impacted because we're talking to one person, maybe a bunch, hopefully, that are watching the show at one time.

[01:01:24] But ultimately, it's probably the one person that's out for the walk, putting the headphones in, watching the show, kicking back at night, crying, thinking about their own personal journeys. Just know that you're not alone. You're strong. You can do this. And if you can't do it alone, there is somebody. We're here.

[01:01:46] Kate: We're here.

[01:01:47] Todd: Kate and me, we're here, and we're changing it, so let's go. Join the bandwagon of good and love and strength and resiliency and self-empowerment and motivation and just get up and let's go.

[01:02:05] Kate: Whew. Let's go. I'm going to go for my walk in nature and ground this in and go meditate. I'm so filled up. Todd, thank you so much for being here and sharing your just unbelievable story with us today.

[01:02:20] Todd: Thank you so much for having me on. I really appreciate it very much, Kate.

[01:02:24] Kate: Thank you so much, and thanks to all of you for being here, especially with us here to the end. We appreciate you so much. You're changing the world with us. Please go do your art. Please remember that the world is filled with good people, including you. We love you. Thank you so much for being here. We'll see you next time. Bye, everybody.