Braving the Palisades Fire: A Journey of Human Resilience

[00:00:00] Kate: I think people are more scared to feel deeply than they are of a fire, than they are of a war, than they are of terrorist attacks. I hope that people take this moment in time and history to closely examine the choices they're making and how they're choosing to live their life and asking themselves, what matters? Who matters? As my mentor said years ago, I will never forget, she said, "Our suffering gives us an x-ray lens and vision into the suffering of others." And I think that is a gift. The world is in crisis. It literally is on fire. And I don't know why any of us think it's okay to still be playing small, to waste our energy judging and comparing, to not show up for humanity.

[00:01:00] Hey, there. Welcome back to an extra raw episode of Rawish with Kate Eckman. I have just returned to my home in Los Angeles after evacuating due to the Palisades fire, and it has been the most horrifying, terrifying week of my life. I'm sorry if I don't speak coherently, eloquently, or even well during this episode, but it was important for me to show up and share my experience for the deeper purpose of helping you open up and expand your capacity and your emotions and your ability to hold space for yourself and for others-- friends, family, colleagues, strangers, community members, humanity.

[00:01:56] A tragic time, a humanitarian crisis, a mental health crisis, a natural disaster crisis, and really tragedy like many of us have never seen before. We've certainly seen it with 9/11. We've seen it with COVID. We've seen it with natural disasters and wars all over the world. This one hit really close to home.

[00:02:20] And in this case, the Palisades fire happened 5, 6, 7 miles, I'm not sure, right down Sunset Boulevard here. It went over to Malibu, as everyone knows, and it was coming East towards Brentwood, UCLA, Bel Air, the 405. And that's where I am. And seeing the fire spreading toward your neighborhood and watching the images on TV and seeing flames this big, if you're listening, you can't see my hands, but they're on my shoulder length. And then it expands way out.

[00:02:54] And you see in real time, in five minutes, that now suddenly flames can be seen from the 405, your exit, and you're not far away, and you've got moments to get yourself together. Because you just saw a few days prior what happened where people didn't have time to think or pack anything and were abandoning their cars just to get out and not die.

[00:03:21] It's a paralyzing fear and feeling that is hard to even put into words. And people who have not experienced it can, I guess, only imagine. But I think even a bigger tragedy is feeling like you may be a burden to people who aren't going through this.

[00:03:41] Certainly the people, my neighbors, everyone in the vicinity, everyone's got their own thing going on, but we understand each other and there's that collective fear and terror. And also wanting to help people who have already lost everything or have passed away and wanting to help their families.

[00:03:57] But it's, I'll use the word interesting, which is probably not the best word. It's interesting to see people's inability or lack of capacity, not because they're bad people to really show up for those in need. And so I want to keep discussing this, and I created this show because I was feeling a lack of connection and community and communication with grown adults. And I have noticed my whole life the fear.

[00:04:32] I think people are more scared to feel deeply than they are of a fire, than they are of a war, than they are of terrorist attacks. I really do. Or it's equal. But this fear of feeling anything deeply, it is my mission to help people feel, to help humanity evolve to be a leader and emotional vulnerability, and that it's a strength and a superpower and such a gift to give to yourself and to other people.

[00:05:06] It's such a gift. The people who were able to show up in a meaningful way and say, "I love you. I've got you. I have a room here. Come stay with me. What do you need? What can I send you?" Are just called to talk, even though I couldn't talk. Just knowing that there are people who care-- the world, my neighborhood, things are burning around and just knowing that there are people who care was just a shot of adrenaline, was a bolt of lightning, was what I needed to just pack a few things and evacuate.

[00:05:46] I did have to have a friend in Santa Barbara who's been through fire evacuations several times tell me what to pack. But it was interesting that all I could pack besides my little bag with hand sanitizer, lip gloss, credit card, ID-- I think that's all that's in my little bag. And I went and got my passport and three pieces of jewelry, but it was interesting that I did not pack one nice thing, one designer thing.

[00:06:13] I didn't care, especially when friends and colleagues in Palisades and Malibu and Altadena didn't have the luxury of time to think about what they wanted to take really. So my heart is with everyone, and my goal here is to open hearts and really shed light on the disconnection that's happening.

[00:06:42] I am seeing a lot of people really coming together and stepping up. And I think that is the silver lining in any traumatic event, natural disaster. But I'm also noticing some people aren't even willing to offer anything. And while I could or would, or in the past would take that personally, I now see that it's just a reflection of their inability to show up for themselves. And that's really troubling.

[00:07:10] And that's the real tragedy here. So thank you for being here. I hope this conversation resonates. I wanted to just give you an inside look at the experience and what we can do and where we can go from here to really help humanity and to help ourselves so that we can be a beacon of hope and light and strength and courage for all of those who's suffering.

[00:07:37] Because if you aren't struggling with something like this now, I hope that you have seen now, there's been so many tragedies that have impacted us over the years, but I hope now that you really can grasp how quickly everything can change in an instant, and that life is a gift.

[00:07:57] It is precious and none of us are too precious to experience something traumatic and horrific. And I pray that if it hasn't happened to you, you never have to experience it. But I will say it does build character, and when you sift through the debris, if you will, the emotional debris, there is such a gift in being an overcomer. And then being able to see the suffering in others, whatever they're going through, and offer them some support. So thank you for being here, and I hope you enjoy this episode. I appreciate you being here.

[00:08:41] It's been a terrorizing week to live in Los Angeles and to be living so close to the Palisades fire, which started on a Tuesday. Friday, I had a hair appointment because that's me. And I decided to keep it. It was my first time leaving the house, and I wanted to keep it for a few reasons. One, I just wanted someone else to give me some love and physical touch and wash my hair for me. And my hairstylist, I've known for 25 years, Robert, since the last time I lived in Los Angeles 20 years ago. And he's such a good juju, and I really wanted to see Robert and give him a hug. And so I headed down there. He's in West Hollywood.

[00:09:33] And when I was at the salon, I kept getting all these notifications on the Watch Duty app, which is an app here we have in California that monitors and tracks the fires in real time that sends you emergency alerts that you have to evacuate and is constantly updating the status of the fires.

[00:09:52] In this case, there's so many here. This one was impacting my neighborhood. And as I was at the salon, I kept getting these notifications that the fire was spreading in toward my neighborhood, in toward my home. And there was these mandatory evacuations put into place, the neighborhood next to mine. And I thought, oh my gosh, what is happening?

[00:10:16] And I'm like, "It's not as windy, but the fire's spreading and spreading." And then it's like I thought there were people here protecting us. Why aren't there more people? How can they let more burn? It's Los Angeles. It's so densely populated. This is Brentwood, UCLA, Bel Air, the 405. And I'm like, "They're just going to let all of this burn down?"

[00:10:40] And so the notifications were increasing. I left the salon. I'm driving down Beverly Boulevard toward the fire, and you just see the plumes of smoke and the sun is setting. It's so eerie. And I stopped and got some food quickly and bonded with the cashier who said, "It feels like somebody died." And I said, "Yeah, But a million people died."

[00:11:10] And then I went home and I put on the news because you don't want to believe that the fire is spreading. It's like, cancel, cancel. We've been through enough already. I am trying to the best of my ability to try to process what has just happened in the Pacific Palisades and Malibu and Altadena and the loss of life and the loss of entire communities, people losing everything, and the horror.

[00:11:41] And the news is showing me the fire spreading and the alerts are going off. And I just wanted to watch. There was a football game on and I'm like, "I just want to relax and watch the football game and sleep. I'm so tired. I haven't slept all week. I'm so depleted. I cannot think clearly at all. Can I please just have this night and then I'll evacuate tomorrow? I'm just so tired. Please.

[00:12:15] And all of a sudden, I'm like, "Girl, you got to put the news on." And so I was seeing the flames and now the flames are visible from the reporter who was on the 405. And then you think of the terror of the 405 shutting down and trying to get out of here. It's just one of those things.

[00:12:42] And I was texting with people and I'm glad I had people who were not here. My friend who I actually evacuated New York City during Hurricane Sandy where I had to be rescued by the National Guard literally swam out the front door and was at a shelter, an evacuation shelter, soaking wet, lost one shoe, thinking, how did I get here?

[00:13:09] No one had power in lower Manhattan or New Jersey for 10 days, as you remember. And I escaped New York and came out here to Los Angeles and stayed with a friend, and that friend called me and very sternly said, "You don't want to end up in that situation again. You need to go now." And she even said, which scared me, she's like, "You need to pack. You're never coming back, and you're never going to see your home again or anything in it." And that was terrifying and I didn't want to accept that.

[00:13:40] And then other friends-- mom friends can be helpful because mom friends say things like, "Just do one thing at a time. Wear sneakers. Don't forget your passport." And the passport was really the only thing that I had down and three pieces of jewelry. And Scott, I didn't really want anything else.

[00:14:02] We need things to live, but I just took sweats and some toiletries and three pieces of jewelry and my passport and a few other little things to live on and left, and I am safely back in my home, which feels like a miracle. And there's still threats happening. But I think what came up for me too is just everything that's happening, but then the humanitarian crisis upon us and the mental health crisis upon us.

[00:14:44] And grown adults not knowing how to show up for friends, family, strangers, community members. Some do, but I think the trauma and tragedy of disconnection that's prevalent in our society today-- and I could focus on the connection, and I'm certainly focusing and thinking about that too.

[00:15:08] Even as we're talking, I'm noticing that it's getting much darker outside, which again, it just scares me with smoke and stuff that can pop up. So I'm still on high alert and my body is like a little kid, screaming 24/7. So it's a wild time to be alive, especially in Los Angeles.

[00:15:32] And I think home is not even a city or a physical apartment or house or condo as much as home is safety and security and comfort and belonging and community and connection and memories. And there's physical structures, but also our body is our home. And to feel so unsafe in your body, regardless of where that body is geographically or what kind of structure that body is in, is horrifying.

[00:16:16] And anyone who has been a survivor of any sort of assault knows what it's like to feel very unsafe in the body and the tragedy of not returning to that body and dissociating from the body and killing the body through drugs and alcohol and other things, because there is so much pain. That's what I am thinking of and feeling of.

[00:16:42] And then the home of a lot of people live with people and so it's others. And then when you're not getting that support or-- I live alone, so there's no one here to share the emotional burden, let alone the physical or financial burden. Because again, you got to keep working and paying the bills.

[00:17:02] The bills don't stop because there's tragedy. And then maybe people can hold space for your pain. Maybe, maybe, maybe a text. But they don't. That is too much. And it's not because they don't like you. They don't know how to hold space for their pain, so they're not going to show up for your pain. It's too much.

[00:17:32] And they've got their own bills to pay and their own life and their own stressful marriage and their own stressful job and their own stressful kids. And there's not a lot extra. There's limited capacity for others right now. And I get that because there is a lot going on regardless of who you are and where you are and what you're doing to pay the bills or what you've chosen in terms of marriage and children.

[00:18:00] There's a lot to manage, and I have respect and compassion for that. And it is my mission to help people and teach people how to show up better for themselves emotionally, certainly, so that they can show up for others because it's a gift to hold space for another humans. It's part of my career, and it's a gift. It is a training though.

[00:18:25] When you can lose everything in an instant, everything, and you still are not putting your health and wellbeing and relationships first, it's like back to work, got a job, my money, my business, I get it. I get it. But it's like that could all be taken away in an instant. We all just saw it. We just saw it, and we've seen it.

[00:19:02] So I would like to focus on the people who do show up and the people who are connected to self and others, and who are coming together as a community and as a country. And I'm grateful that our neighbors in Mexico and Canada have stepped up to help keep us safe when they don't have to.

[00:19:24] But there's a deeper feeling that I have in my body, which is my home, that's unsettling. And it's the disconnection of the human race and it's the disregard for human life and what matters on a really deep level. That's what's even more troubling to me.

[00:19:47] I think we have more to give when we have prioritized our own health and wellbeing, when we have made that the priority over the attainment of wealth and success. And listen, those things matter and they're important. We do want to have nice things and feel comfortable. And there's some people who are working their tails off and struggling to pay any bills and live in the United States of America, which is tragic in itself.

[00:20:24] I think though, and I've seen it myself, that we have to prioritize our health and wellbeing because you may reach the goal, you may sign the contract, you may sell the company, you may grow the company, you may get the clients and the money, and if you have not cared for yourself, it won't be sustainable.

[00:20:45] It'll blow up in your face. You will burn out. You will make bad choices in the name of stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and overwhelm. You probably won't treat people the best. And I think the people I'm more concerned with, JJ Reddick, the coach of the Lakers, came to mind. He lost his home and everything that he owns in Pacific Palisades, and he's right back to work.

[00:21:10] And I understand there's contracts and there's money and there's a basketball season, but there's humanity first. And I worry about people like him because it's so compartmentalized and just right back to work. Did you take a few hours off while you left the rubble and that unthinkable trauma and then checked into a hotel, and then it's back on the media and business as usual on the basketball court? I don't think that's healthy, and I worry about people.

[00:21:45] I'm less worried about people who are sobbing and at least letting out the full scope of their emotions. And so I think you get to the peace, but first there has to just be-- I think the trouble right now is the mind can't comprehend. It is like a Hollywood film that I would never watch because I don't want to experience that type of horror or violence or tragedy. I don't want it in my conscious or subconscious.

[00:22:15] And so it's inconceivable to the mind, and yet our bodies are feeling it all. And the body doesn't lie. The body is the truth. When you do trauma healing work with a therapist, it's all about embodiment. And just what I've learned from my professor and my training with it, is that if your client is not in their body, there's no session. There's no continuing on. You have to get the client in their body.

[00:22:43] And so much of us get out of the body because it's just too painful. And so this is a time to get in the body and to feel somewhat of what's going on. And it's those of us here in the line of fire are experiencing the trauma on the highest degree. Those who have already lost their homes and people who have lost their life, lost loved ones.

[00:23:13] And then there's the collective. People are feeling this tragedy all over the world. So I think the road to making peace with trauma and tragedy and natural disasters and unthinkable horror is to not seek peace immediately. I think we maintain our integrity and ethos when we're going against the grain, when we're disrupting the status quo, when we're not doing the popular, trendy thing that's making other people millions of dollars.

[00:23:43] We know. It is that knowing in your gut. And I've done shows on trusting your gut, following your intuition. It's knowing that maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point-- and listen, whether I transform one life or 1 trillion lives, is one life any less important than 1 trillion lives?

[00:24:05] Yes, you want a big platform so you can make a greater impact so more people-- even if it's just, oh, this is the thing to do now, is feel our feelings. If I don't make a penny but it's now a thing to feel our feelings and not numb and suppress and blame and shame and run away, oh my God, I don't even need a penny.

[00:24:32] That is wealth right there. Now, I would like pennies because I do have bills, but that is wealth. And even talking about that just like woo, lights me up. Gosh, can you imagine the day when people are feeling their feelings and know how to hold space?

[00:24:56] I hope that people in Los Angeles or elsewhere take this moment in time and history to closely examine the choices they're making and how they're choosing to live their life and asking themselves what really matters? Who really matters? And if I've got one minute or one hour to decide what I'm going to take with me, or in a blink of an eye, I could lose it all, whatever that is, what matters? Who matters?

[00:25:38] Maybe that's the question of the hour. What matters really, truly? Who matters really, truly? And it is a gift in something like this to see who does show up and how they show up and who doesn't show up at all. I think people always expose themselves, and I think it's important to not hang on to-- like for me, I have so many bags together to donate, and now it's like even more will go.

[00:26:12] And I don't see myself in this house for much longer way before the fires, and I've already made the decision that I'm going to donate everything in this home. Everything in this home is brand new. Nothing is older than two and a half years. I invested in nice stuff, and it's all being donated because it doesn't really truly matter, if I answer the question.

[00:26:41] And other people need it more than I do. And I'm not a multimillionaire yet. Who am I? I'm someone who wants to have these conversations. It's maybe more pleasant and light and fluffy to talk about sports or fashion. And I love sports and fashion, and I'm committed to humanity and storytelling.

[00:27:22] And maybe we have laws that are constantly passed. You can do this. You can't do that. But it's not going to be put into law. But I would like to help change the consciousness or societal standards that-- I am horrified that so many people who lost their homes are back at work the next day. What?

[00:27:53] I wanted to honor my feelings, but compared to friends, colleagues, strangers, a couple of miles down Sunset Boulevard, who lost everything, and it's so much deeper than stuff and money as insensitive people would say, this is memories. This is generations of memories in a neighborhood, in a home. This is safety.

[00:28:19] This is security. This is comfort. This is community. This is connection. This is belonging. I don't even know or care what people think, and I'm really releasing how I'm perceived by anybody because I finally know who I really am.

[00:28:58] But yeah, I sadly think that people are surprised when anyone cares about someone more than just themselves and their bottom line. And I wish that that wasn't the case. I wish that it wasn't rare that we care about others as much as we care about ourselves, their wellbeing, their safety, their home, their money, their happiness, their pain.

[00:29:31] I don't know why we don't care about others' pain so much, but I think it's because we don't care about our own pain, ultimately. We don't show up for our own pain. We drink it away. We shop it away. We numb it away. We suppress it away. We pretend it isn't happening. We pretend it doesn't exist. We stuff and stuff and stuff until the body is at disease and there's cancer and other things. So I think that's why people will be surprised, not just for me, but really anyone who really cares about humanity in such a profound way.

[00:30:13] Pretending is a big problem. We've all done it. It doesn't work. The body knows. The body is the truth. That's why you see so many assault survivors years later, it comes out. It first comes out like-- Justin Bieber just came to mind. It doesn't work.

[00:30:44] Nobody wants to hear that you actually have to feel the depths of your pain to move through it. The only way out is through, and the numbing and suppressing only pretends to work for a particular amount of time before it just really blows up in your face. So I think it's important to give people the tools, but I really do think it's a change in consciousness.

[00:31:11] I think it's a change in society ultimately of what is expected after people lose a child, lose a parent, lose their home. Whatever it is that people are managing, a world crisis, a country crisis, a humanitarian crisis, a mental health crisis, there aren't more resources. You have to tell somebody who loves you what to say to you. Just please tell me you love me and I can stay with you if I need to. Why do we have to beg and tell people how to just basically show up for us in a time of need?

[00:32:01] I think people are feeling fear when they don't reach out or when they don't know what to say. They haven't sat in silence with themselves enough to reflect or process their own trauma or tragedies however, big or small. They're scared of uncomfortable feelings. They're scared of maybe even offending.

[00:32:24] They're scared of not saying the right thing. I say to my clients all the time when I ask questions, or even friends, like, do you think you need to file for divorce? And there's no right or wrong answer. I support you regardless, but I think we aren't taught feelings like we're taught math and science. And think about how many adults are bad at math and science.

[00:32:54] I was taught Spanish in school. I can barely speak a few sentences. And we aren't taught emotional intelligence. Those of us who choose professions where it is part of the curriculum, we take courses. But I even see colleagues, the best training in the world on how to be a coach, they haven't done the work on themselves.

[00:33:15] So you can't expect to play your instrument for the world when you haven't fine-tuned it. And I think people are scared and unwilling to fine tune their instrument because they're scared that they may have to replace a string or their strings aren't good enough or it's going to take too long or cost too much, or people may perceive them a certain way or they won't be liked because of their strings. And fear. I think fear.

[00:33:50] There is something about how we feel, how things make us feel. And that's why I think it's insensitive to say to somebody who just lost everything, especially so close to the event, stuff can be replaced. Lives can't. And not everything can be replaced.

[00:34:10] The art project that your fifth grader did that got burned cannot be replaced. Grandma's heirlooms can't be replaced. There's a lot of things that can't be replaced, and I don't know why we have to go to these silly tropes about things like that when this is memories we're talking about.

[00:34:27] This is a house that's been in the family for 100 years. This is life savings put into comfort and security and beauty and sanctuary and a safe space and a haven. And we just take that away from people in the name of, well, you're still alive. I think it's heartless and we can do better.

[00:34:54] And I think that so much of this show too, is asking the questions and hearing people open up and share and explore more deeply and talk about things they don't normally talk about. And I think we get to talk about that. And I think we get to tell people that was really insensitive and really tone deaf and really unappreciated.

[00:35:16] And I think that's why so many of us don't really want to talk to a lot of people right now, especially outside of our community because we don't need to hear it. And you don't know what you're going to get. You might get the incredible support that feels really good, and you might get the, it's just stuff. It's so unhelpful and you might get, just try to go back to work and get back to normal-- unhealthy, unhelpful.

[00:35:45] I think the people who maybe didn't show up in a way that they would have liked or hoped because they were scared of saying the wrong thing or upsetting the person or not adding to their healing in the moment that you can ask questions. That's what I've learned as a journalist in my training as a professional coach, it's all about questions and meaningful questions. I think a really great place to start is, how can I best support you right now? I also think being mindful of the energy with which you're speaking and presenting and reaching out in a text, in an email, in a phone call, in a message. Some messages, I could feel that the person genuinely cared. Could feel it.

[00:36:38] I feel everything, gift and curse. But others, I'm thinking of a woman in particular, it felt like an obligation type of text. And it was four words. Just, thinking of you. Hope you're okay. No meaning, no feeling, no heart behind it. And it was in the moment I was evacuating and said, I'm evacuating. Please pray. Freaking out. Exclamation points.

[00:37:09] There was no response, how do you not respond to that? How do you not respond to that and just say, oh my God, I'm so sorry? Please let me know you're okay. I've had strangers show up for me in a better way. I've had colleagues I haven't talked to in years offer me their Marriott points for hotels and sending me food.

[00:37:38] But I think you can just start with a question, how can I best support you right now? But I love you goes a really long way. I know a lot of people don't feel comfortable using that language and colleagues probably because of even lawsuits, sadly, don't feel comfortable saying I love you to someone who isn't a lover or something. But I care. You matter. That sounds so scary. Do you need to talk?

[00:38:08] What would you like to hear? It's, I think, asking yourself what you would like to hear or feel or experience in the moment. I think that I'm going to choose to see this experience as a gift and an opportunity to feel deeper, love deeper, help more people, and really double down on my activism and my mission to help humanity heal and evolve one courageous conversation at a time. Exposing our truth, one courageous conversation at a time.

[00:38:44] Telling our story and being proud of our story and what we've overcome, what we've endured, how we've been triumphant, how we've help others by sharing our story and being a beacon of hope and strength. And I can already feel that this experience has changed me forever. But already in a good way because there's a lot less shit that I care about.

[00:39:14] And I want to stay in that. I don't want to care about or think about or even notice the people who don't show up for us, who don't celebrate our success, who don't acknowledge our podcast, who don't know anything, or care to know or care to support.

[00:39:34] Why do we even care? I don't want to have my life be all about money and things and what other people and society deem is successful. I want it to be about my relationship with myself and how good that feels and my relationship with those closest to me. And I'm grateful. As my mentor said years ago, I will never forget, she said, "Our suffering gives us an x-ray lens and vision into the suffering of others."

[00:40:05] And I think that is a gift. That is a gift. If nothing else, to be able to acknowledge another human being and their pain. Or on the other hand, their pleasure and their joy is a gift and an opportunity. And do you know how good that makes you feel when you can be there for somebody else in a meaningful way? What greater gift or success is there?

[00:40:33] I think taking stock and inventory of what we don't really need-- and listen, it can be beliefs. It can be other people's projections. It can be the clothes we never wear. It can be fears and insecurities. And I think that's why some people, they get upset because when you are daring and courageous enough to step into your purpose and they see you in alignment with a greater purpose, it can be really threatening to people.

[00:41:15] But to do it anyway and know that you on some level are inspiring them to step into their purpose because, again, I don't know why I have to say this, but the world is in crisis. It literally is on fire. And I don't know why any of us think it's okay to still be playing small, to waste our energy judging and comparing, to not show up for humanity.

[00:41:44] So where do we go from here? Creating and hosting Rawish has been my favorite thing I've ever done in my life and career because I just get to hold space for people to share their truth and their incredible stories and the wisdom that they've gained through a lot of setback and heartache and ridicule. And it has been so healing and so transformative. And so I know this show works because I feel completely different now than when I started it not even a year ago.

[00:42:22] And so it's like the promise of the show. It works because I see it and I think others see it too based on the feedback that I've received. And so whatever your thing is, maybe it isn't to create and host a show and talk about really raw, real feelings so candidly, but this has been a leap of faith.

[00:42:42] I'm spending a ton of money with no financial return or reward right now, but I know that it's coming, and it's so rewarding to do this work because I think people heal by sharing their story, something so much deeper than, I'm a firefighter. I'm a mom. I went to Northwestern, whatever it is.

[00:43:06] I can't wait to talk to some of the firefighters or pilots or first responders who have kept us safe. I can't wait to talk to some people, anybody, whatever they've been through. I think of the people who have been on the show just this month alone and what they've overcome. We are overcomers, and I want to start telling these stories rather than blaming the politicians and talking crap.

[00:43:34] All this shit that is out there now, I want to start telling the truth and these stories. Because when you're in your truth-- I saw something I shared on social media yesterday, just even letting people know I had to evacuate. It's the most terrifying week of my life. I just today am back in my home.

[00:43:53] And it's a lot to process. It's going to be a huge long recovery. But we got this. And the reason we have it is because the strength of our humanity and character. And so that's what I want to focus on, is our humanity.

[00:44:09] What are we really doing if we're not valuing connection with ourselves and with others? And the day comes when you need yourself and your connection to yourself and others so deeply to survive even. What do you do then if you haven't cultivated that, if you haven't prioritized it? What do you do? And not just in the moment, but in the aftermath and in the recovery.

[00:44:42] So it really is an invitation to get really clear about who we are, what really matters, who really matters, who is there for us in a crisis in a meaningful way, who is there for us in a celebration in a meaningful way. And I hope the person at the top of your list, I just put her on the top of my list, is yourself, is yourself. Because sometimes it is one in the morning and nobody is there, and if they're physically there, they're not emotionally there or mentally there. And 911 is not an option for whatever reason. Who is there for you?

[00:45:28] And have you done the work that's necessary to even open yourself up to being the person that can hold space for you? What does that even mean? What does that look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? What is that? That is your homework assignment. What does it mean? How does it feel? What does it look like to show up for you when there's nobody to call, when there's nobody to meet your emotional needs, your mental needs, your physical need? What do you need to do?

[00:46:07] This is so much deeper than what's in your go bag that you're taking with you if it all burns down. What's in in the go bag in your body that's going to keep you alive, that you need to survive? What's in that bag? What's in that body? What's in that mind? What's in that heart? What's in that soul? That is the question. That is the takeaway. That is the moment that is now. Thank you so much. I appreciate you being here. We'll see you next time. Bye, everybody.